July 02, 2009
Not only is he a few plate appearances from qualifying for the league leader board and preparing for yet another All-Star trip, several teammates have started to leak the details of another post-baseball career for the all-universe catcher.
According to some fine reporting done by our own Jeff Passan, Mauer has hidden the fact that he's a wannabe MC and has even laid down some lines.
Joe Mauer is from Minnesota. He is white. He plays Major League Baseball. He is considered something of a pretty boy. None of these four things outlaws him from practicing his secret hobby. All of them combined into one 6-foot-5, sideburn-wearing, .400-flirting catcher, however, makes for the unlikeliest rapper in the history of rap ...
"I've heard stories," outfielder Denard Span(notes) says. "I've heard he buries himself in the studio. But never heard the finished product with my own ears. Looking at him right now, I'm guessing it's a cross between Vanilla Ice and Cypress Hill."
Passan's column was an exercise in trying to find something that Mauer can't do well, but given the discovery of Mauer's rapping talent, I think it's only right that we Stewstorm ideas for Mauer's stagename. I'm partial to Saint Paul, given his hometown, but I'm open to ideas.
So go ahead and tell us: How should Joe Mauer's concert posters read?