Listen: No one's arguing that this doesn't suck. Even if it's 70 and sunny where you are, it's a dark day -- a day we knew was coming, but dark all the same. But you can't just sit there and dwell on it; all that's going to do is buy you a one-way ticket to Frowntown. Nah, dog. You've got to step your emotional agency game up.
Commander the Good Ship You. Run really fast for a little while, taking solace in the fact that your body is an evolutionary marvel capable of high-level biomechanical function. Roll your sleeves up, chief; let that sun get all up on your shoulders. Put on big sunglasses without worrying that you might look weird in them. Sneak a sly thumb's up to the world around you. Wrest control of what's going on in your heart away from the owners and the players (but really, probably mostly the owners).
Best caption wins Chris Paul's Game 1 from Round 1 against the Lakers. If this doesn't make you smile, you must be rocking forum blue and gold. Good luck.
Winner, Waynehead: "We got this," Sheed proclaims to Wells as the Blazers are up 13 to start the fourth. (ED. NOTE: Sorry, Blazers fans.)
Runner-up, Joao Clemente: Oh, 2001. A time when you could pick any two random Blazers and have four healthy knees.
Second runner-up, Johnnybalb: Wells: "Man ... just look at him over there, Sheed. How'd you know Z-Bo was gonna eat ANOTHER burrito during this timeout?"
Wallace: "It's not called a guaransheed for nothing. Now pay up, son."
A Special Commendation in Ruling, Commentus Interruptus Division, goes to Andrew C: "l like basketball bec"