The Moneyball movie may currently be dead, but that doesn't mean you can't head to Best Buy, pick up a $400 video camera, call up some of your best SABR buddies to play Billy Beane and his revolutionaries and then film the thing yourself. 

Yes, thanks to Hollywood Elsewhere, you can work off one of the project's original drafts — download a PDF here — to recreate what might have happened if any studio had given Brad Pitt and Steven Soderbergh the $57 million they needed to make it.

The screenplay is dated Dec. 1, 2008 and was written by Steven Zaillian, who has written a slew of sweet screenplays for good movies like Schindler's List, American Gangster, Gangs of New York, A Civil Action and Mission:Impossible. It's presumably different from the Soderbergh script rewrite that was deemed "unacceptable" by Sony honcho Amy Pascal late last week, leading to the film's demise.

But after skimming Zaillian's effort this morning, I have to say that his adaptation of Michael Lewis' best-seller is pretty entertaining and worth the read if you love the book. Not only does it feature disembodied voiceovers from Bill James and a solid enemy in Joe Morgan (really), it portrays Beane as a cad about town and even includes a scene in which the Oakland GM hits up an Outback Steakhouse in Cleveland with Paul DePodesta and orders a Bloomin' Onion. 

Later, Zaillian portrays Beane doing the most logical thing after eating a plate of fried onions with tangy sauce ... having sex with the waitress who served it to him. 

You really can't make this stuff up.

Or if you're Steven Zaillian and you work in Hollywood, apparently you can. Perhaps Soderbergh deleted this scene and Pascal thought the absence of chain restaurant-related romance would hurt the film's test scores among women?

Until we see a copy of Soderbergh's revision, we'll just have to assume that's the case. But at any rate, follow below to witness a semi-hilarious, if bizarre scene that I really don't remember being in Lewis' book.

(Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.)

A big BLS head nod to @moneyballmovie for the redirect.