Ozzie Guillen endured one of those nights that makes a major league manager just want to go back to the hotel and start drinking heavily.
And not only because the Chicago White Sox fell 2-1 in 11 innings in excruciating fashion to the Kansas City Royals on Wednesday night. Adding injury to the insult of losing on a wild pitch, Guillen got hit in the right eye on a freakish foul ball in the eighth inning. And then came postgame fireworks.
Guillen sported a puffy shiner as he ranted — briefly, profanely and epically — to reporters about what's wrong with the Sox. To the video!:
Guillen must have been bleeped 25 or 30 times in 1 minute, 54 seconds.
"Bruce Chen, once again. That was more painful than this one [points to eye]. [Bleeping] pathetic. No [bleeping] energy. We just go about the motions. We took the day off today instead of tomorrow. If we go to Cleveland and play the way we played in Kansas City, it's going to be a [bleeping] long-ass [gosh-darn] July. That's very bad. Very bad."
He added that the White Sox had "no energy in the dugout and a horse-[bleep] approach at the plate," and that the organization was "wasting our money" if it sent them to play the Indians, Yankees, Red Sox and others, and the Sox performed like they did in Kansas City.
"Good luck," Guillen said sarcastically. "... and Danks pitched well."
So, there's that.
Later, on Twitter, Guillen put a nightcap on the evening:
Vamosa vino tinto. Duro pa lante
I think "Vamosa vino tinto" means, "Going to the red wine. "Duro pa lante" might have been a bawdy reggaeton song he was listening to at the time. Do I hear gunshots and police sirens in this tune? Edinson Volquez(notes), can you translate?
Regardless, Ozzie's red wine comment transcends any culture. What he's saying is obvious: The White Sox, because of an overpaid and underachieving roster, a team that can barely flirt with a .500 record, much less command the AL Central, are only tolerable with booze.
Well, here's mud in your eye. Or a baseball.
UPDATE: ESPN's Amy K. Nelson chimed in to say that Vino Tinto refers in this case to the men's national soccer team of Venezuela (Ozzie's homeland), which lost on penalty kicks in its match Wednesday night/Thursday morning.
This soccer news destroys the idea of Ozzie chilling with a glass of Merlot, doesn't it? Maybe he used something harder to kill the pain.
Big BLS h/t: Chicago Tribune's Amanda Kaschube