Some stories are so strange, you don't even know where to start telling it. So let's start with the simple facts: Cleveland Browns suspended receiver Josh Gordon, who led the NFL in receiving yards last season, will work as a car salesman this season.
ESPN reported that Gordon, who is suspended all season due to a failed marijuana test, will start working as the "goodwill ambassador" for the Sarchione Auto Group in Ohio, and part of his duties will be as an on-floor salesman.
While the Browns will be in Pittsburgh for their opener on Sunday, Gordon will be starting his new gig, which will also involve "heading all of their local community efforts."
Hey, how many times are you going to get pitched a Ford Taurus from a 2013 NFL All-Pro?
What's next? San Francisco outside linebacker Aldon Smith working as a TSA agent while he serves his nine-game ban? Denver receiver Wes Welker writing for "Daily Racing Form" while he sits out four games?
Gordon thought about playing in the CFL this season, but the Browns wouldn't let him out of his contract to do that. According to ESPN's report, Gordon "will be heading all of Sarchione's local community efforts, including with the Wounded Warrior Project." Hey, maybe it will be good for him to have a "real" job, to appreciate what he's missing in the NFL lifestyle. The first time a customer tries getting Gordon to drop down the price on that 2003 used PT Cruiser, or at least throw in some new floormats, he'll miss having someone tending to his every need in an opulent locker room, picking up anything he might drop behind him.
We'll see how long Gordon sticks to his new job. Maybe he'll embrace it and turn into one of those kooky characters we see on local television commercials peddling cars at all hours of the night riding an elephant or whatnot. Whatever happens, it's certainly the strangest angle we've seen on one of the NFL's most controversial stories of this offseason.
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