Now, the Marlins have started selling tickets on coupon site Groupon, giving their "fans" the chance to get tickets for 52% off. But wait, there's more: Buy this deal and you still get the buy-one-get-one-free tickets for another home game in April or May. Act quick and the Marlins will also throw in a $10 merchandise voucher, perfect for buying that "I went to a Marlins game and didn't get traded to Toronto" T-shirt from the gift shop.
[Baseball 2013 from Yahoo! Fantasy Sports: Join a league today!]
I hope you read that in Billy Mays' voice, because that's how it sounded in my head. (Both of those secondary offers, by the way, are true).
Two points here that make me shudder for the future:
• We're still two weeks away from the Marlins home opener. By then who knows what they'll be offering to get fans through the gates. For $20 you'll probably be able to get season tickets, a $50 merchandise voucher, a year's supply of Sham-Wows and a Chia-Pet shaped like Jeffrey Loria.
• If opening day is this tough a sell, what's going to happen in August? How are the Marlins going to get fans out to watch a team that's closing in on 100 losses? Groupon's gonna be like, "Sorry, the cupcake shops have us too busy this week, call Living Social." Living Social's gonna be like, "Sorry, call Little Caesars and see if you borrow some of their sign-twirlers." Little Caesars is gonna be like, "Haha, joke's on you. We're down with the Detroit Tigers."
No joke: I wonder how many people in Miami would rather have a Little Caesars $5 pizza than a Marlins ticket at this point.
BLS H/N: Eye on Baseball
Other popular content on Yahoo! Sports:
• Y! Sports' fearless forecasts for the fantasy baseball season | Play
• Top seeds L'ville, Kansas in the way of All-Big Ten Final Four
• NBA Power Rankings: Heat are chasing history
- Sports & Recreation
- Arts & Entertainment
- Miami Marlins