Christy stepped through my back door two Julys ago. She walked into the house like she had climbed out of a poster in my high school bedroom. Past fashionably late, she had given me way too much time to sit and drink, and I knew it would be hard not to make an ass out of myself. By the time I was face to face with my favorite Redskins cheerleader, all I could muster was a shrugged shoulder handshake.
It was a Saturday night in the summertime and Christy was thinking about me. I would have never known what she had on her mind, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She confessed that it wasn't coincidence that brought her to the house and she was prepared. If looks were bait then I was hooked. She dressed to make men panic, but beyond that she was beautiful. Her smile was incredible and she had something terribly contagious in her eyes. Awkward glances and stares filled the room, and before the night ended I knew that I wanted more.
As a couple early on we were controversial, but entirely smooth. Rumors followed everywhere we went. Keeping a secret became hard when there wasn't a secret to start. It turned out a picture of the two of us had been leaked to the Redskins. Christy was fired from cheerleading two weeks after we started dating. Since her big paycheck ($75 a game) had come to an end, at least the sneaking around was over.
As we moved through the season, I fell in love with her. We went through a lot of weird stuff, but it never fazed either of us. Maybe her dad brainwashed me one of the nights I passed out at her house, because no matter what happened, I was crazy about her. More likely it was her mom, since I was usually trying to impress the old man by drinking him under the table.
It's amazing that the last three years together have gone by so fast. I'm getting married this Friday evening. I asked Christy to be my wife nine months ago, and I'm a lucky man; she chose to be with me. I think she has learned being with a football player is harder than it looks. She is looked through countless times by surrounding football fans, and the funny thing is Christy should be getting the attention. Not to mention she has to put up with my terrible attitude five months out of the year (A.K.A. football season).
While I can't wait to put the ring on I've had some resoundingly bad conversations over the last couple of months. Golf may have an uncountable list of ethics, though bothering a complete stranger about getting married is not one of them. First of all, I'm excited for the big day, so please don't feel sorry for me because marriage sucks for you. No, I'm not nervous, I don't want any marriage advice, and yes Christy's mom is still hot.
From the moment Christy said "yes" the plans began. I have to admit I haven't been the most avid planning participant, but one thing I was put in charge of was the seating. I'll say this: It should at least be an interesting night. I've had calls from numerous wedding guests, most recently Dan Snyder's assistant asking what table they could find their seats. Obviously my easiest seating solution, anywhere you can find a chair. I'm not trying to stick Dan with my drunken uncle, but drawing up all those name tags was way over my head.
I'm hoping for a huge night on Friday. We've paid for two open bars, and invited nothing short of an Animal House cast of characters. Although I hope Clinton's friends -- Southeast Jerome and co. -- don't crash the party. After our vows the only promise I will make is to not stuff the cake all over Christy's face. The rest of the reception is free game. It will certainly be a night to remember.
Posted Jul 2 2012
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Posted Jun 21 2012