March 15, 2010
In honor of the whole March Madness thing in hoops, the noted female admirers at Esquire have seeded their own 64-chick bracket for readers to vote on the Sexiest Woman Alive. Like its hardwood counterpart, the first round includes its share of head-exploding showdowns and mismatched blowouts. But do I smell an upset brewing in the Sports Bracket?
I initially assumed that someone had nominated the genuinely smokin' Layla Kiffin, passed the choice along to some other, sports-impaired Gothamite who spent a half-second Googling it and subsequently wrote down the wrong name, and so on until some frazzled, cleavage-distracted intern charged with selecting the picture for the Web just went with it because he was too intimidated to point out the mistake to the bosses. That's what I though at first.
But really, it's too funny to be a mistake, especially if Kiffin wins. Assuming Lane takes the title (and it should go without saying that you're encouraged to vote for him as often as possible), it's a guarantee that no football team in history has ever been as disappointed as USC will be to greet the Sexiest Woman Alive to its locker room. Obviously, this must happen.