Big League Stew - MLB

This and every weekday let's rise and shine together with the latest and greatest happenings in the majors. Today's Roll Call begins with a phirst-place phace-off at Shea, where a comfy three-run lead for Nueva York phaded to dust during an apoplectic and apocalyptic ninth. Mets phireman Billy Wagner — not exactly boy scout-trustworthy this season was resting his spasming left shoulder and was unavailable to douse a phurious rally by the Phightins. Speaking of spazzes, the Mets bullpen, no matter who Jerry Manuel tried Doug Sisk, Jeff Innis, Dicky Gonzalez had only wrong answers.

Game of the Day: Phillies 8, Mets 6

No phoolin' the Phils: First they tried Duaner Sanchez Duaner, a name not found in nature and he was a complete faildog. Then they went to Average Joe Smith a sidewindin', bushwackin', hornswaglin', cracker croaker and he didn't get it done, either. Then they called on Feliciano, who So couldn't get 'er done, and a blind man could see this wasn't going to be a Feliz Navidad for the DuhMazins.

Phlood of runs: Was it the worst ninth inning in the history of the Mets? That probably happened last September sometime, but it'll do for this year. The key play, probably, was a hesitation by Jose Reyes on a grounder which could have been called an error but should have been an out somewhere. Instead, he was tapping around second base like Sammy playing the Copa. Taguchi's double to right was huge, too and what was Endy Chavez doing playing that shallow in right?

Phrustrating: New Phillie Joe Blanton was no match for Johan, who was good enough for eight innings but not good enough to pitch the ninth. Jerry! Why didn't you keep him out there for one more?

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Feelin' Rundown (Tuesday's other games):

Marlins 4, Braves 0 — Reliever Joe Nelson gave up the one hit allowed by the Marlins — to Chipper, of course. If you proposed a bar bet that says Rick VandenHurk is the Marlins' bullpen coach, I'm not sure you should lose. Would there be a better bullpen coach name in the majors? He shouldn't apply just yet for Steve Foster's job, not after five hitless innings, part of a four-pitcher combined one-hitter. Jeff Francoeur's analysis of The Vurk: "One time he's up, the next time he paints the corner. He was very effectively wild." French for, "I dare him to do it again."

Angels 3, Indians 2 — Save No. 41 for K-Rod. The other night, they did a poll on the White Sox TV broadcast asking if he was going to break Thigpen's record of 57. A resounding "no" (something like 80 percent) came from the Chicago electorate. Yes, several of the voters had died in the 1970s.

Red Sox 4, Mariners 2 — Dice-K took a year to get used to the chowdah. Now, he's wicked pissah.

Athletics 8, Rays 1Braden, the leading scorer in the Federal League, managed to allow but one run over five. Hannahan, whose wife knows Chiefs captain Reg Dunlop, went deep.

Yankees 8, Twins 2 — Now only 3 1/2 back of the eventual AL East champs, the Damn Yankees are hot.

Brewers 4, Cardinals 3 — In order, the all-time greatest Brewers third basemen: Paul Molitor, Ryan Braun, Jeff Cirillo, Kevin Seitzer, Don Money, Tommy Harper, Bill Hall, Gary Sheffield, Sal Bando, Corey Koskie, B.J. Surhoff, Ernest Riles, Russell Branyan, Tyler Houston, Jose Hernandez, Wes Helms, Ed Romero, Mike Ferraro. ... All Coors Light needs to do is get La Russa to sign on the line and they've got another commercial disguised as a press conference. "Do you think the bullpen lost this game? They are who we thought they were!"

D-backs 9, Cubs 2 — Lou canceled batting practice, then Cubs hitters canceled hitting, period. Try the Yusmeiro Petit next time you're at the BOB Chase Field. Dee-lish.

Pirates 8, Astros 2Randy Wolf has been turrible, and he's owed about $3.5 million dollars. Did Chacon knock all of the sense out of Ed Wade? Maybe not. Richard Justice — he's a great writer — commends Wade for doing the deal for these reasons. Here's what I suspect: They added Wolf as an if-come. If he pitches better in the next couple weeks, or even after the deadline, they can move him for an actual prospect. The guy they traded for him is not one.

Tigers 7, Royals 1 — Since D-Day, the Sixth of June, the Tigers have the most wins in the majors. Hmm. "D"-Day, eh?

White Sox 10, Rangers 2 — Hey, check out the fight in the WNBA game!

Blue Jays 10, Orioles 8 — Someone has to finish fourth. Adam Lind is doing his padre, Chico, proud.

Reds 4, Padres 3 (11 inn) — Bryan Corey's having a bad week. He allowed Aaron Miles' game-winning granny Sunday, and his fingerprints were all over this one too. J-Bruce: 3-for-6 and scored the off-run walk. He's not Albert Pujols but he's not Luis Pujols, either. Maybe he's Pujols-Pujols.

Rockies 10, Dodgers 1 — Not the ideal place to recall Clayton Kershaw but, Torre points out, Baldy Jimenez had no trouble in the Big Humidor.

Giants 6, Nationals 3 — Zito improved to 5-12, but I can't remember the other four wins and I'm not sure if this one counts because it's the Gnats.

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Photo of the Day: 'But in the Latin alphabet, Jehovah begins with an I.'

Catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia admonishes pitcher Luis Mendoza for losing the keys to the team bus.  

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Fantasy Freaks

Lind (Jays) 4-5, HR, 2 R, 3 RBI

Melvin Mora (O's) 4-5, R, 5 RBI

Paul Maholm (Pirates) 8 IP, 5 H, ER, BB, 5 K, Win

Mark Buehrle (White Sox) 7 1/3 IP, 6 H, ER, 3 K, Win

Ian Stewart (Rockies) 3-3, HR, 4 RBI

Jimenez (Rockies) 9 IP, 4 H, ER, 2 BB, 4 K, Win

Matsuzaka (Sawx) 7 1/3 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, Win

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Fantasy Flakes

Duanereade (Mets) 0 IP, 3 H, 3 ER

Kershaw (Dodgers) 3 IP, 10 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 2 K, Loss

Shaun Marcum (Jays) 4 2/3 IP, 8 H, 6 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, 3 HR

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Words of Mouth

"Nice pitch selection, you jerk." — Nelson, in a joking manner, to Marlins catcher John Baker.

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