Shutdown Corner - NFL

Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:07 pm EDT

Stuff You Need: NFL Foamheads

Stuff You Need takes a look at the NFL-related consumer goods on the internet, and calls your attention to products you never knew you needed.

The NFL season is nearly upon us, and it's time to start thinking about what you're going to wear on your head to make your wife look at you like an idiot, or to annoy the person sitting behind at you at games. Fortunately, the NFL has provided an ideal solution for both scenarios in the form of their foamhead series available at NFLShop.com.

Below are 8 of my favorites.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Thank you, NFL.com, for presenting people with the rare opportunity to wear a boat on their head, but I can't support this foamhead.

For the Bucs, there was one choice, and one choice only: a big red pirate hat, with a big red foam feather, and a complimentary red foam knife to put in your mouth.

This foamhead makes Bucco Bruce feel sad.

New York Jets

This one's my favorite, and probably the most literal of the foamheads. It looks like a children's toy jet, wide and wobbly, and big enough that children under the age of five can't swallow it.

Oakland Raiders

You can't just have another head sitting on top of your head. That looks creepy. Especially when neither of the heads are terribly attractive to begin with.

Also, this doesn't help most Raider fans. They need something that fits over their face (you'll note that many of them already make masks of their own) so that their parole officer can't see them on television.

Washington Redskins

I don't know if they'll sell a lot of these, as the Redskins line hasn't been known as "The Hogs" in a while, but I do realize that the NFL.com marketing people had limited options here.

There weren't a lot directions they could go with Redskins headwear that weren't blatantly racist. So they make a cute little pig, but the Redskins logo on the side, and limit the racism the best they can. Good for them.

Indianapolis Colts

A decent enough idea, but the fact that they had to make the Colts foamhead big enough to accommodate a human head meant that they had to make it look like a pig, or a really chubby horse.

And that's OK, too, because Jared Lorenzen's a Colt now, and he needs your support, too.

Chicago Bears

I like this one, too. You take the classic Bears logo, make it three dimensional, hollow it out a bit and let someone wear it on their head. I like the way they're thinking on this one.

Atlanta Falcons

He looks like a sad Falcon. His eyes are trying to be mean, but they only belie the droopy frown on his sad little beak.

The sad look might not be accidental. I think anything that indicates depression is an appropriate look for Falcons fans this year. You hang in there, my little foam friend.

Dallas Cowboys

Or, you could just wear a Cowboy hat.

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21 Comments

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  1. Ken
    1. Posted by Ken Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:49 pm EDT

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    You can't be serious.
  2. Broncoman
    2. Posted by Broncoman Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:36 pm EDT

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    And I thought the Denver horse head hat was stupid, Tampa and Jets hats take the cake, Raiders and Skins not far behind. Can't believe anyone over the age of eight would wear any of these things.
  3. Seth M
    3. Posted by Seth M Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:30 pm EDT

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    "Or, you could just wear a Cowboy hat." Spectacular!
  4. Andy L
    4. Posted by Andy L Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:51 pm EDT

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    I like how the mannequin's neck says "On your head, On your wall, In your car." Who could wear one in their car unless it was a convertible?!?! And more importantly...why would you?!?!
  5. Southpaw
    5. Posted by Southpaw Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:34 pm EDT

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    Curiosity getting the best of me, I had to go to the website to see if there were more.
    The first shock came when I saw that these things cost $34.99
    the second came when I found the Chiefs foamhead
    http://www.nflshop.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3173692&cp=&pg=2&sr=1&origkw=foamheads&kw=foamheads&parentPage=search
    You could pay people to wear those while they hold a sign saying "Bathroom"
  6. PGH
    6. Posted by PGH Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:14 pm EDT

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    Foam hats are gay. I'd rather wear one made of macaroni and glitter that my kid made in school.
  7. I wanna be first
    7. Posted by I wanna be first Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:30 pm EDT

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    How come teams are missing? Like the Green Bay Packers Cheeseheads?
  8. skinsrboss/gigi
    8. Posted by skinsrboss/gigi Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:32 pm EDT

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    Can you say "when pigs fly" ? That's about when you'd catch me wearing that Skins foamhead!!!
  9. Saro G
    9. Posted by Saro G Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:46 pm EDT

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    $35? Those are cool, but I bet they last two weeks.
  10. kanedakbn
    10. Posted by kanedakbn Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:46 pm EDT

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    "Whether you wear it to a game, hang it on your wall or put it in the back of your car, this Foamheads® NFL® team mascot hat will make a bold statement."
    Bold indeed...
  11. Koos
    11. Posted by Koos Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:53 pm EDT

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    I dunno. I could see spray painting the Falcon blue and going as Sam the Eagle for Halloween. Kids these days! What ever happened to good, wholesome headwear! Like giant foam cheese. Or a derby!
  12. The STUD Boy
    12. Posted by The STUD Boy Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:07 pm EDT

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    What about the classic paper bags over your head, that look never gos out of style Saints fans. I think Raider fans will be adopting that look this year, the bonus, I am sure it held the three 40 oz of King Cobra they chugged before the game, so at least they will be recyling.
  13. Big Blue Crew
    13. Posted by Big Blue Crew Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:10 pm EDT

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    Foamheads are great, funny, team spirit items...................For me ta poop on!
  14. Jay Mac
    14. Posted by Jay Mac Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:29 pm EDT

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    LOL - great...they look like fun, esp if you are 37 Coors light and 28 hot wings deep.
  15. KayfabeMG
    15. Posted by KayfabeMG Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:48 pm EDT

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    I know a Charger's fan who often wears a hog on his head.
  16. ayana
    16. Posted by ayana Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:15 pm EDT

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    the cowboy hat is gay looking...giggles.
  17. Wolf!
    17. Posted by Wolf! Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:19 pm EDT

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    You would have to pay me to wear any of those. (Half cause I'm a Packer fan, And those foam hats are Really Really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY STUPID!!!!!!!!!!
  18. N. Y. NIGHTMARE
    18. Posted by N. Y. NIGHTMARE Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:06 pm EDT

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    f the pack... aaron rodgers is a flake! Oakland or NYJ have the best two up there
  19. Broncosox fan
    19. Posted by Broncosox fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:13 pm EDT

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    Dude, the Colts jacked the Broncos' idea!
  20. Jordan.L
    20. Posted by Jordan.L Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    they are awsomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  21. Tim
    21. Posted by Tim Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:02 pm EDT

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    Where is the Browns hat? Just a piece of foam colored brown....

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