Shutdown Corner - NFL

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The NFL season is nearly upon us, and it's time to start thinking about what you're going to wear on your head to make your wife look at you like an idiot, or to annoy the person sitting behind at you at games. Fortunately, the NFL has provided an ideal solution for both scenarios in the form of their foamhead series available at NFLShop.com.

Below are 8 of my favorites.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Thank you, NFL.com, for presenting people with the rare opportunity to wear a boat on their head, but I can't support this foamhead.

For the Bucs, there was one choice, and one choice only: a big red pirate hat, with a big red foam feather, and a complimentary red foam knife to put in your mouth.

This foamhead makes Bucco Bruce feel sad.

New York Jets

This one's my favorite, and probably the most literal of the foamheads. It looks like a children's toy jet, wide and wobbly, and big enough that children under the age of five can't swallow it.

Oakland Raiders

You can't just have another head sitting on top of your head. That looks creepy. Especially when neither of the heads are terribly attractive to begin with.

Also, this doesn't help most Raider fans. They need something that fits over their face (you'll note that many of them already make masks of their own) so that their parole officer can't see them on television.

Washington Redskins

I don't know if they'll sell a lot of these, as the Redskins line hasn't been known as "The Hogs" in a while, but I do realize that the NFL.com marketing people had limited options here.

There weren't a lot directions they could go with Redskins headwear that weren't blatantly racist. So they make a cute little pig, but the Redskins logo on the side, and limit the racism the best they can. Good for them.

Indianapolis Colts

A decent enough idea, but the fact that they had to make the Colts foamhead big enough to accommodate a human head meant that they had to make it look like a pig, or a really chubby horse.

And that's OK, too, because Jared Lorenzen's a Colt now, and he needs your support, too.

Chicago Bears

I like this one, too. You take the classic Bears logo, make it three dimensional, hollow it out a bit and let someone wear it on their head. I like the way they're thinking on this one.

Atlanta Falcons

He looks like a sad Falcon. His eyes are trying to be mean, but they only belie the droopy frown on his sad little beak.

The sad look might not be accidental. I think anything that indicates depression is an appropriate look for Falcons fans this year. You hang in there, my little foam friend.

Dallas Cowboys

Or, you could just wear a Cowboy hat.

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