Two households, both alike in questionable dignity,
In fair Dallas, where we lay our scene,
from Mexican vacations to fumbled footballs,
a pair of star-crossed lovers devastate TMZ readers and Peter King by breaking up.
Like a modern day Romeo and Juliet, Tony Romo(notes) and Jessica Simpson, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback and the singer who was once famous for being a singer but is now only famous for dating the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, have ended their relationship.
The pair had little chance of making it in our tabloid-fueled world, what with every ill-conceived trip to the beach and relationship critique from Terrell Owens becoming fodder for the paparazzi and Eminem videos. Still, they persevered for however long it's been since they started dating. It feels like a few years, but maybe I'm just feeling disoriented from the horizontal stripes.
People magazine broke the news:
"She is heartbroken," says the source. "She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."
That's a good source. Even while describing the heartbreak of a friend, the source manages to get in a plug for Jessica Simpson's new show.
You can also tell they ended things on good terms, or else Simpson's source would have added "which will doubtlessly end with another late-season flameout" after the "[Romo is] busy with his career" line.
At least, we hope the pair ended this mutually. This increases the chance of Brett Favre calling Romo with advice to make a relationship comeback, thus saving pro football's greatest playoff-losing quarterback and B-list pop star fairy tale.
She was his teammate. He was her quarterback. And we were a nation rapt by their love. For never was a story of more woe, than this of Jessica and her Rom(e)o.
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