June 29, 2011
The Amarillo Sox, an independent minor league team in Texas, were expecting to have a huge hit on their hands by unveiling a new team mascot over the weekend.
Instead, they got this ... this ... this monster!*
*Shields eyes of nearby child, collapses into sobs
As a result, the Sox are trying out the mascot return policy by sending the dirty Sock back to his — yes, I'm pretty sure it's a him — creator for some alterations. I'm just guessing here, but the fixes could be as simple as a bucket of cold water or picturing Don Zimmer taking batting practice.
"It was not the way I wanted it," [team GM Mark] Lee said. "I'm very disappointed in the lady who did it, and I've told her so. She is going to fix it to the changes we want. I want to say on the record, if we offended anybody, I apologize."
Apology for the nightmare fuel accepted, Mark. But let this be a lesson to you: There's a reason the Chicago White Sox and Boston Red Sox opted for androgynous green creatures for their in-house entertainment. And that's because there's just no acceptable way to create anthropomorphic hosiery.
Big BLS H/N: Deadspin
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