The New York Post has a big story tonight. Huge story. Massive. Like 6-foot-11, 300 pou— I'll stop, this is too crazy. Eddy Curry has been slapped with a sexual-harassment suit by his former driver, who claims the Knicks center tried to solicit gay sex from him.

The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky "in the nude," allegedly telling him, "Look at me, Dave, look" and "Come and touch it, Dave."

Curry also made Kuchinsky perform "humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [Curry had ejaculated into] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says.

Kuchinsky, who worked for Curry from October 2005 through October 2008, also alleges that Curry hurled slurs at him including "[expletive] Jew," "cracker," "white devil," and ... yeah, you get the idea. Not fun. Kuchinsky is seeking approximately $100,000 plus compensatory damages as well as unpaid wages and expenses.

Curry makes $9.4 million a year for breathing, sitting, dreaming of gymnastics.

Obviously, Curry's lawyer denies Kuchinsky's allegations, calling them "absolutely untrue." Apparently, Kuckinsky began making a series of claims for his unpaid wages months ago, upping the ante each time, so it's possible the "come and touch it" line was his all-in move. (Daniel Negreanu does this all the time.) We'll see.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my imagination with bleach.

Update: Newsday.com reports Kuchinsky is actually seeking $5 million in damages.