I was just informed by the Yahoo! web designers -- who may or may not be robots -- that soon the right side of the Ball Don't Lie blog will include my god-awful headshot and an e-mail address for you to send in tips and such. With any luck, I'll receive a lot of links similar to this one.

Apparently, this scary note was posted in a Portland apartment building late last week. It seems as though a disgruntled, deranged, and quite possibly naked, Blazers' fan is on the loose, searching for laundry vengeance. He or she is believed to be armed and not in the library.

To the ass that stole my cloths (sic) out of the dryer. If I see you wearing my Blazers sweatshirt or any of my cloths (sic). I will shoot you dead, and then we will be even!

Yikes. Whatever you do, Portland, DON'T go outside wearing a Blazers' sweatshirt, t-shirt or any other red and black gear for the next couple of days. If you absolutely must venture out, throw on a Luke Ridnour jersey or something.

(Thanks for the tip, Mark.)