Big League Stew - MLB

It's official. According to the Chicago Tribune's Hardball, Alfonso Soriano and his .175 batting average have been placed on the Cubs' 15-day disabled list after straining his right calf. The injury happened right after Soriano landed from the "bunny hop" he habitually performs while catching fly balls. 

Soriano is denying his injury came as a result of the hop, but his hare-brained (literally) ways would seem to qualify the Chicago left fielder for one of the rarer groups in all of sports: Athletes who have unnecessarily injured themselves on the field or court in the strangest and stupidest way possible. 

Yes, Soriano might now deserve a place among the not-very-illustrious list I've compiled below ... Where does he belong?

5. Vince Coleman (MLB) — OK, so the inattentive crew at old Busch Stadium contributed just as much in knocking the noted firecracker enthusiast out of the 1985 NLCS. But doesn't the first lesson of baseball come in knowing to never, ever turn your back on the metal tarp cylinder? Those suckers can be very sneaky.

4. Tony Allen (NBA) — Remember the days when a Celtic would go up for an unnecessary monster dunk after the whistle and come down with a season-ending knee injury? Tony Allen sure does. 

3. Bill Gramatica (NFL) — Without good ol' Bill, we'd never know that the proper way to celebrate giving your team a 3-0 lead is to tear your ACL and just end your season right then and there.

2. Milton Bradley (MLB) No, Milton, San Diego won't need you down the '07 stretch while trying to hold off the Rockies. So feel free to go ahead to sacrifice your ACL while being restrained from going after umpire Mike Winters. Really no problem at all, Milton. Get your angry on.

(Update: A great e-mail from Bryant notes: "What you forgot to mention was that only an inning prior to the Bradley/Winters altercation Bradley had the foresight to stomp on Mike Cameron's hand while chasing a ball into the gap. This knocked Cameron out of the game and effectively ended his season as well. The biggest piece of irony to this story – this game ended up being a 7-3 loss. To the Rockies.")

1. Gus Frerotte  (NFL)— Fifty years from now, the lasting memory of Goofy Gus won't be that he was fr'real or that he played (poorly) for seven different NFL teams. It'll come in that he knocked his own ass out in the same game that Michael Westbrook decided he was morally opposed to helmets and would prefer MMA in the future instead.

So no matter that the presciently wise Frank Robinson used to tell Soriano not to do that silly hop, Mr. I-Only-Bat-Leadoff has now entered the most hallowed of (hospital) halls where the only person to blame is one's self (or the Busch Stadium grounds crew.)

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  1. edy u
    1. Posted by edy u Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:52 pm EDT

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    Why does cooper send valverde in as a closer when he has been such a failure for the astros. ? please tell me why.
  2. dsyfer83
    2. Posted by dsyfer83 Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:49 pm EDT

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    'cause valverde sucking is still better than lidge ever was...
  3. Handsome Pete
    3. Posted by Handsome Pete Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:04 pm EDT

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    Fonz goes 5th in my books... his injury is only slightly less stupid than Allen's. At least Soriano's injury occurred while the game was still "in play"...
  4. markshoe
    4. Posted by markshoe Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:08 pm EDT

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    What about Brian Griese tripping over his beer, I mean dog..........in his driveway?
  5. Michael C
    5. Posted by Michael C Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:17 pm EDT

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    We need to have another list of off-field incidents as well. Yes, tougher to judge and not always caught
    on video, but every bit as stupifying and entertaining. I'll throw in infamous game day flake Chris Brown
    of the S.F. Giants/ S.D. Padres who once took himself out of the line-up because he " SLEPT ON HIS
    EYE WRONG!!!!!!". Incredible....stuff like that never disappoints!!!
  6. OOIIOO C
    6. Posted by OOIIOO C Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:45 pm EDT

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    How about Sammy Sosa's injury when he injured himself while sneezing?
  7. Chris R
    7. Posted by Chris R Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:25 pm EDT

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    What about minor league pitcher {Pawtucket Red Sox at the time} Paxton Crawford getting injured while falling out of bed on a glass . {Yes the glass broke and he got glass in his back putting him on the 15 day DL} He was never the same anymore.
  8. cf187
    8. Posted by cf187 Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    Its UnBeleavable........Its are year! HAHA...GOSOX!
  9. James N
    9. Posted by James N Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:36 pm EDT

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    years ago, atlanta braves outfielder terry harper dislocated his arm waving home a runner from thirdbase on a wild pitch while he was at bat.
  10. hootman531
    10. Posted by hootman531 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:20 pm EDT

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    i was waiting for the sammy comment. thats all soriano is . another sosa who bat lead off and hits meaningless HR'S. he's done bring back murton.. cubs fan 4 life!!!
  11. Bri
    11. Posted by Bri Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:28 pm EDT

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    Wow only for the cubs
  12. Don Pedro
    12. Posted by Don Pedro Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:14 pm EDT

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    Sammy Sosa sneezing.
  13. ArpanTheGreat
    13. Posted by ArpanTheGreat Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:58 pm EDT

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    how can joel zumaya's multiple seasons lost to a guitar hero addiction not be on here...
  14. cody v
    14. Posted by cody v Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:11 pm EDT

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    how about the guy for the orioles who couldnt play the next day because he went tanning and burnt himself so badly he was out for the next 3 games
  15. HH
    15. Posted by HH Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:21 pm EDT

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    What about the Sammy Sosa sneeze?
  16. Matty O
    16. Posted by Matty O Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:31 pm EDT

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    What about the minor leaguer (i forgot his name) that blew out his knee when he jumped on home plate to celebrate a walk off home run.
  17. alvin
    17. Posted by alvin Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:00 pm EDT

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    Sports Illustrated once run a segment eons ago (somewhere early 90s) of strangest & dumbest off-field injuries to athletes. My favorite then was Jose Rijo (Reds Ace back then for the young readers) injured his a thumb playing Nintendo GameBoy!!! .... Oh Boy!!!
  18. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    18. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    There was Kenny Lofton of the Cleveland Indians in the fifth and deciding game of the 1999 playoff series vs. the Boston Red Sox foolishly deciding to dive head first into first base, ending up with a dislocated left shoulder(his throwing arm), and torn rotator cuff while essentially costing himself and his team any chance of playing another game that season.
    Or, how about Joe Beimel of The 2006 Dodgers cutting his hand in his 'NY hotel room' in the playoff series vs. The Mets? We later came to find out it happened in a bar after he slammed down a shot glass which broke and sliced his pitching hand making him unavailable and costing his team whatever chance they had of moving on in that playoff series.
  19. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    19. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    Oops, Beimel's brain fart wasn't on the field as this topic suggested it should be. I got to thinking about it while writing about Lofton's gaff and forgot that was a prerequisite.
  20. Sam C
    20. Posted by Sam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:42 pm EDT

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    How about Mike Hampton everytime he moves.
  21. BC
    21. Posted by BC Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:03 pm EDT

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    The tanning bed incident was Marty Cordova. Ladies and gentlemen, your 1995 AL Rookie of the Year!!
  22. TK
    22. Posted by TK Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:11 pm EDT

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    Terry Mulholland once missed a start because he was poked in the eye by a feather from a feather pillow.
  23. eric w
    23. Posted by eric w Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:12 pm EDT

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    How about Kevin Brown punching the dugout wall and breaking his hand IDIOT!!
  24. Leemer
    24. Posted by Leemer Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:43 pm EDT

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    This is another off-field thing, but worth mentioning: Charlie Hough once missed an opening day start for the Rangers by dislocating a finger during a handshake at the pre-season luncheon. And Oddibe McDowell hit the DL after a mishap buttering a biscuit.
    Is it any wonder this franchise only has one playoff game win?
    Love them regardless...
  25. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    25. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    Remember Dwayne Rudd's(of The Browns) throwing of the helmet in celebration after believing he'd sacked the KC quarterback as time expired? Problem was Trent Green actually 'pitched' the ball to OT John Tait who ran for 28 yards on the play. With the penalty yardage tacked on and given an added down because the rule clearly states the game cannot end on a defensive penalty, it allowed The Chiefs to kick the game winning field goal, and as a result, cost his team the game. Brilliant!

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