Big League Stew - MLB

The Indians were an AL Central favorite heading into this season and there's no reason to think that those around the team didn't feel the same way.

After all, how can you explain the $20 million handed to reliever Kerry Wood(notes)

Or the scheduling of not one, but two Victor Martinez  promotional giveaways in the week after the trading deadline?

Certainly the Indians marketing people  couldn't have foreseen the complete collapse that led to the front office ridding itself of six top players — including the popular catcher — like they were ashtrays at a garage sale.

But what's done is done and the Tribe has confirmed to CNBC's Darren Rovell that it will awkwardly go ahead with tonight's Victor Martinez(notes) bobblehead giveaway and Thursday's Victor Martinez chest protector backpack promotion despite trading Martinez to the Red Sox on Friday afternoon. 

Being the fine folks we are, we've compiled a couple of suggested lines for the Indians to use while handing out free items that relate to a fan favorite who's no longer around:

• "Combine a little imagination with some sandpaper and it's actually a Sandy Alomar, Jr. bobblehead!" 

• "The bad news? We've traded Victor to Boston. The good news? You don't have to go Christmas shopping for your jerk nephew who lives in Columbus but claims to be a lifelong Red Sox fan."

• "It's still less fragile than Kerry Wood."  

• "Don't worry. We've told catching prospect Lou Marson(notes) he'll have a much easier path to the majors if he changes his name to Victor Martinez before the first pitch. We believe he's considering it."

• "If you behave yourselves, we'll schedule an Eric Wedge giveaway in two weeks. No, really, one of you'll be able to take the manager home with you."

• "These figurines are much easier to throw at Browns games than half-full beer bottles." 

• "If you bury this bobblehead in your yard, the Dolans will sell the team!" 

• "You think you're angry now? Wait until the LeBron James t-shirts in 2011." 

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