Billie Eilish Began Watching Porn at 11, Says It “Destroyed My Brain”

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The post Billie Eilish Began Watching Porn at 11, Says It “Destroyed My Brain” appeared first on Consequence.

Billie Eilish’s song “Male Fantasy” opens with the pop star trying to “Distract myself with pornography,” though the footage is so disturbing that the verse ends with her declaring, “I’m going back to therapy.” Those lyrics are based in her real experiences, she recently revealed on The Howard Stern Show, noting that she “started watching porn when I was like 11,” which she said, “Destroyed my brain.”

“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace,” she told Stern. “I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest.” She said she was drawn to X-rated material in order to feel like “one of the guys.”

Eilish remembered looking at a lot of “abusive” videos, which she believes contributed to her recurring issues with sleep paralysis and night terrors. “I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn,” she said.

It also warped her expectations, putting her in uncomfortable situations when she later became sexually active. “The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” she recalled. “I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay.”

She added, “The way that vaginas look in porn is fucking crazy. No vaginas look like that. Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t come like that.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Eilish discussed the perils of dating as a pop star. “I’m not a serial dater… I don’t go to stuff and flirt with people,” she said. “It’s really hard to meet people when people are either terrified of you or think that you’re out of their league.”

She even began wondering if she would never date. “Last year, I thought that I’d be single for the rest of my life. I genuinely couldn’t even picture myself in a relationship of any sort,” she said. “I got over that pretty fast.”

Eilish also told Stern about her secret battle with COVID-19, suggesting, “If I weren’t vaccinated, I would have died,” and recalled her nerve-wracking appearance on Saturday Night Live, where she both hosted and performed “Happier Than Ever.” At one point, Stern interrupted the interview to tell Eilish and her brother FINNEAS that they had just been nominated for a Golden Globe for their James Bond theme song “No Time to Die.” “No way,” Eilish said, “That’s so cool!”

Billie Eilish Began Watching Porn at 11, Says It “Destroyed My Brain”
Wren Graves

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