Pssst, This Reading List Will Improve Your Sex Life 👀

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In the timeless words of Salt-N-Pepa, let’s talk about sex, baby. Whether you’re having it, not having it, thinking about having it, scheduling it, and/or just having lots of thoughts about it, sex is one topic that’s impossible to ignore in day-to-day life. It’s everywhere—from the media we watch (I’m looking at you, HBO sex scenes) to literal naked dinner parties. And while that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it’s nice to cuddle up with a good book that addresses your questions on sexuality and intimacy without all that outside noise clouding up your thoughts.

The best books about sex often reveal answers and paths forward, whether you’re seeking a more meaningful sex life with your partner(s), exploring your own sexuality, or curious about things like sex toys. All of the above is totally normal, btw! I think we can all agree that being a human person navigating sex in the 21st century is hard AF. But if you don't have time to be knee-deep, browsing the sexuality aisle at your local library or bookstore, I went ahead and found all the best, must-read books about sex and intimacy for you.

Getting expert insights from the professionals who've done the research on all things sex feels pretty good bc a) you feel less alone and b) you may even find a solution or new idea to whatever you’re pondering over—a concept, right? Plus, if your sex life has left you unfulfilled in any way, but you’re unsure about working with a licensed sex therapist at this point, a top-rated book could be just the place to start. Ahead, find 20 of the best books about sex and intimacy to add to your reading list ASAP.

Come as You Are, by Emily Nagoski, PhD

Could your sex life use a jumpstart? Or maybe it’s in need of a total transformation? Whatever the case, Emily Nagoski’s book, Come As You Are, is essential reading, expertly articulating why and how women’s sexuality works. Synthesizing research and data, this book breaks down the science of sex (and why some couples stop having it) while still being an easy, digestible read.

Want Me, by Tracy Clark-Flory

In this heartfelt, darkly humorous memoir, sex writer Tracy Clark-Flory opens up about her personal journey of navigating her own sexual desire. She chronicles her experiences on adult film sets, at fetish conventions, and during an orgasmic meditation retreat, all while weaving in statistics and expert voices that challenge common views on sexual freedom.

The Right to Sex, by Amia Srinivasan

How should we think and talk about sex? That is the central question philosopher Amia Srinivasan explores in The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century. In this book, she upends how people discuss―or avoid discussing―the problems and politics of sex. She traces the meaning of sex throughout history and dives into sex in all its complexity, including its relationship to gender, class, race, and power.

The Ethical Slut, by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

Widely known as the “Poly Bible,” The Ethical Slut has been a mainstay on sex books lists for more than 20 years. Consider it your thorough how-to guide on all things polyamorous, designed to help you navigate the poly lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition includes interviews with poly millennials, tools for conflict resolution, and new info on topics like asexuality, sex workers, and LGBTQ terminology.

Better Sex Through Mindfulness, by Lori A. Brotto, PhD

It's common to experience sexual difficulty at one point or another. But you deserve the sex life you want, which is what Better Sex through Mindfulness helps you achieve. In this accessible, relatable book, psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto, PhD, explores why sexual problems exist and tells the stories of many of the women she has treated over the years. Plus, there are exercises you can try out for yourself!

The Body Is Not an Apology, by Sonya Renee Taylor

The Body Is Not an Apology may be the name of the book, but it's also a mantra worth adding to your life. Through helpful prompts and thought-provoking prose, activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor provides a template for reconnecting with your mind, body, and soul on your journey of radical self-love.

The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel

Affairs. They can be messy AF and make your sex life even messier. In this book, couples therapist and best-selling author Esther Perel recounts real-life case stories of those who have dealt with affairs, alongside incisive psychological and cultural analysis. She challenges preconceived notions about affairs, arguing that they have a lot to teach us about modern relationships.

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, by Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT

In this book, sex therapist Ian Kerner provides useful techniques for assessing, fixing, and expanding what he calls your "sex scripts." He also examines common sexual problems preventing you from getting the happy endings you deserve, all accompanied with the latest clinical insight, sexual science and research, and case studies. And yes, there are homework assignments, too!

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, by Miriam Kaufman, MD; Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability is designed for all genders and sexual identities and covers the span of disabilities, from chronic fatigue and back pain to spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis, cerebral palsy, and many others. It discusses sexual positions to minimize stress and maximize pleasure, how to deal with fatigue, pain, and spasms during sex, and more.

Queer Sex, by Juno Roche

In this candid book, transgender activist Juno Roche explores sex, desire, and dating alongside leading figures from the trans and non-binary communities. Their first-hand accounts celebrate trans bodies and challenge the ways in which society views gender, sexuality, and relationships.

Three Women, by Lisa Taddeo

Writer Lisa Taddeo spent eight years and thousands of hours chronicling the lives of the women whose stories comprise Three Women, even going so far as to move to the towns they called home. In this nonfiction book, readers are introduced to those three women at various points in their lives who contend with the harsh realities of sex and relationships.

Sex at Dawn, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

In this book, the authors share their perspectives on ethical non-monogamy. It challenges common views on sex, marriage, and family, breaking down long-held assumptions about human sexuality.

Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel

New York City-based therapist Esther Perel offers a new take on intimacy and sex. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, she carefully considers what creates true desire. Equipped with case studies and animated anecdotes, the book helps you achieve more exciting sex right now.

How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex, by Samantha Cole

The internet and sex are forever intertwined, and this clever book closely studies how sexuality influenced the internet (and vice versa) over the years. This visual history is filled with broad themes and backstories, pioneering personalities, and eureka-moments, covering everything from porn to online dating to deep fakes.

Sexual Reflections, by Alexandra Katehakis, PhD

This workbook is super helpful if you're looking for a more interactive way to embrace and honor your sexuality. Meant to be used with your therapist (complete with therapist instructions in the appendix), it's a practical aid in attaining a personally satisfying and sustainable sex life.

The Wild Woman's Way, by Michaela Boehm

In this book, intimacy expert and counselor Michaela Boehm shares practical rituals and exercises that are designed to help deepen your relationships. Boehm humorously and sharply points out self-improvement areas to work on that you might not have noticed before.

Sex for One, by Betty Dodson, PhD

This is the classic guide on all things self-love, complete with expert insight and informative line drawings. Sex expert Betty Dodson, PhD, provides intelligent, straightforward discussion about masturbation and why it's an important component in anyone's sex life.

Polysecure, by Jessica Fern

In this practical guide, polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern expands common understanding of how emotional experiences influence relationships. She then shares six specific strategies to help move toward healthy, secure attachments in all your relationships.

Tongue Tied, by Stella Harris

Whether talking about sexual frustration with your partner, trying out new fantasies, or negotiating the terms of a BDSM scene, author Stella Harris addresses it all in Tongue Tied. This book gives direct advice on how to conquer fears, identify needs, and feel positively empowered in bed, no matter what you're into.

Getting the Sex You Want, by Tammy Nelson, PhD

Say it with me: Communication is key! Especially when sex is involved. This guide takes a proven communication method and applies it to sex for the first time. You'll learn exercises to better communicate your sexual needs and desires, get past old issues, and revive passion in your relationship.

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