31 Very, Very, VERY Helpful Sex Tips People Got From Their Parents, Of All People
Even though it might be awkward, it's important for parents to talk to their kids openly about sex. Why? Well...do you really want them learning from their friends, media, or whatever backwoods sex ed the US is gonna give them? It's also important to approach the topic with care so your kids don't grow up with shame around sex, and understand clearly how important consent is.
It can be tricky, which is why I was so interested to see Reddit user u/babyyyylilith ask, "What's the best sex-related advice your parents ever told you?" The responses were a great crash course in how to talk to your kids about sex — and also good advice about sex for anyone who didn't have parents who were open about the subject. Here's what they had to say!
1."My parents didn’t want to have 'the talk' with me so they had our family friend do it. He said, and I quote, 'Your body is going through a lot of changes, and you're going to get urges to do some weird shit. It’s all normal. Unless you are, like, rubbing dead puppies on your body, then come see us for help.'"
2."When my dad caught 13-year-old me with a Playboy. I was terrified, but he said not to worry, it was normal to be curious. Then he said the wisest thing: 'Just remember, most women do NOT look like that.'"
3.And relatedly... "'Don't treat women the way they are treated in porn.' Every boy needs to hear that."
4."Touching yourself isn't evil, and it won't make God angry. You were made to enjoy sex, so you should. If you don't know what you like, how will you be comfortable figuring out what your future wife likes?"
"And: 'I don't care what you do so long as you wear a condom and accept responsibility if it fails.' She was a teen mom and didn't want to see a repeat of that."
5."As a teen girl, I was constantly dying of embarrassment because my parents were really sex positive and answered questions accurately. My friends would always worm their way into the kitchen to ask my mom about sex-related pleasure (her specialty). My dad was Mr. Contraceptive. We literally had vases full of various types/brands of condoms. My dad still knows more about birth control than I ever will. The one thing that stuck? She always said every guy I took to bed would need to be taught how to get me off. So, I better get really good at communicating, and the best reason to dump a guy was when he wasn’t receptive to learning new things in bed."
"I’m not sure how it even happened, but I have become the sex positive parent of teenagers (and all their friends). My husband is still slightly mortified that I will discuss sex with anyone, but he’s supportive. Our daughter is hideously embarrassed, so I’m banking on her carrying on the family legacy. Our son just rolls with it; nothing fazes him.
I could and should write a book about just how misinformed teens of overtly religious people are. Y’all would never believe the crazy af shit these kids come to with."
6."'One word: Communicate.' That was it. That was the entire talk. It was some of the best advice ever given to me. And it applies to so many aspects of life!"
Nickelodeon
7."My dad gave me a sex talk when I was in my teens that [was] pretty explicit about how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex. He also gave me a book called The Guide to Getting It on. And suggested I read it and he’d answer any questions. By the time I was having sex, I felt very confident about how it worked and how to make women feel good."
"I’ve tried to keep building up my skills and knowledge over the years — different courses and books. Partners have always been complimentary. I can thank dear ol’ dad for that."
"As a woman, this is seriously good advice. Too many men learn how sex works from porn and get this inaccurate idea that women can just GO. We need time and prep work."
8."Sex is about making another person feel good. If all you want is a nut, then jerk off instead."
"But don’t make it all about the other person; it’s like making dinner for someone and sitting in front of them with an empty plate. They won’t be able to enjoy it as much with you staring at them and making them eat alone; take what you need and give them what they need in return."
9."My mom always told me to cut my finger nails the day before going on a date. Subtly putting me on game."
"Reminded me of how my uncle once told me, 'Kid, no matter if it’s a man or a woman, cut and file down your nails before every date.'”
"As a man with a lifetime of physical work and playing electric bass, DUDES, please listen when I say, scrub your paws, clean and clip your nails, and apply lotion to those hands. After 50 some odd years, my calluses could snag satin and silk if not tended. The ladies hate that shit. Especially against their skin."
10."To take a shower before it."
"And after, too."
11."My uncle (who had custody of me) sat me down one day and asked if my parents gave me the sex talk. I said no; he face palmed, then brought out a condom and said if a man EVER tells you they're 'too big for condoms' (proceeded to roll it up his arm), 'THEY'RE LYING.'"
"It became a personal joke until he died. 'What was wrong with him?' 'He said he was too big for condoms, and I dropped him.' 'Atta girl.'"
"As a father of two daughters, I told them to never accept the argument that the condom is too small and unrolled one up my arm as an example. I said I doubt they're packing something bigger than my arm as a 270-lb. man."
12."My dad gave me two pieces of solid gold advice. 1. Wear a condom; it could save your life. If you get pregnant, that can be taken care of. If you get AIDS, we lose you. 2. I was telling him I'd been raped but giving a lot of excuses...'he was drunk,' 'he knew I liked him,' etc. He cut me off and just said, 'Did they ask first? No? Then that's rape.'"
13."My mom: 'You know what people who practice the pull-out method are called? Parents.'"
"In all seriousness, though, my mom answered any questions I had and even helped me get a doctor's appointment arranged when I decided I wanted to be on the pill. I'm eternally grateful that she made it easy to go to her for any questions or advice."
14."My dad held up my baby bro and told me that if I wasn’t careful, this is what would happen, lol."
To put it simply..."Wear a rubber."
15.Although, while pregnancy and STIs should always be on your mind... “Abstinence is NOT the only form of safe sex. My school had a habit of teaching 'abstinence only' in place of safe sex practices. It’s amazing what a little real world education can do."
16."My grandpa sat me down when I was 16 and told me that I need to find a girl that loves to eat. When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, if she loves to eat, she’ll likely also love all the other finer things in life, like art and music and sex. And she’ll be a fantastic lover.' He was right on the money; my fiancée and I love to appreciate good food and the other finer things. Thanks, grandpa."
17."My dad told me when I was in high school: 'If a girl is kind enough to share any part of her body with you, be grateful and don't be the asshole who goes and tells everybody.' I took that one to heart."
18."Not my parents, but awkwardly and unexpectedly, my family doctor: 'Teenage boys and even early 20-something men are horny, barely know what they're doing, and barely remember to wash their balls. Don't even let them touch you unless they show through their actions that they genuinely respect you, care about you, and like you as much as you like them. And even then, always use a condom no matter if you're on other birth control because babies aren't the only thing you can pick up from sex. And never get with a guy who's hounding you for it.'"
19."'Walk away from any guy who tries to pressure or intimidate you into doing stuff with him. Don't waste time with guys who think they're entitled to your body. Don't fall for shallow flattery and be manipulated. Just walk. You are not missing out on anything.'"
"As kids, my mom always taught me and my siblings about being compassionate and kind to other people as well as being responsible and honest and respectful, all those things parents try get into their kids' heads to help them turn out right. I was 14-15 when my mom sat me down and impressed on me that not everyone in the world has good-hearted and respectful intentions, and that I need to keep this especially in mind when it comes to how people act when romance and sex come into the picture.
It was a new layer to the lessons she gave me growing up, and I took it to heart. It's advice that has served me very well."
20."'If you fuck up, we're here for you, and we've got money. But if you hurt a girl, you're out of the house and on your own.' ... Having that support system and safety net did wonders for my peace of mind."
21."If you’re too embarrassed to buy condoms, you’re too young to have sex."
22."Honestly, the BEST advice they ever gave was to just come to THEM for any sex-related questions. My dad literally said, 'Your friends aren’t having sex. You know who’s having sex? Me and your mom. And we have been for a while. So, ya got questions? We got answers.' I might add this was before the internet. So grateful the topic of sex was never taboo in our home."
"I learned about sex from my horny friends. It's definitely not the best way to learn about it, and I totally don't get how my parents somehow thought that was the best."
23."Pee immediately after sex. You can cuddle later. I had been having issues with UTIs, and they asked if I was active. Started following this advice and haven’t had issues again."
24."A relationship doesn’t have to look like a hallmark movie. You can date multiple people, get married or not, have whatever kind of sex that makes you happy, and don’t let social norms define your happiness."
25.“'Don’t do adult things if you don’t have adult money.' AKA, don’t have sex if you can’t afford...the consequences. I 100% agree. As a teen, I've seen girls my age get pregnant at a young age and raise a baby in poverty because they didn’t have the money to get help."
26."Don't get laid where you get paid."
27."First thing they drilled into my head when talking about sex; be respectful. No means no."
28."Never to sacrifice my own comfort for the sake of pleasing someone else. Doesn't matter if I think doing what they ask sexually will make them like me more — if they're someone who would pressure you into sexual stuff, they aren't worth your time anyways."
29."My dad told me that no man has EVER died from blue balls."
30.“'Honey, if a man ever tells you that if you love him, you’ll do sex stuff with him, you look him dead in the eyes and reply, "If you loved me you wouldn’t make me do anything I don’t wanna do."'"
"You are not required to have sex just because the other person wants it."
31.And finally... "When I had my first girlfriend, my dad told me: 'You're gonna get a lot of different feelings and wants. That's okay, just remember that she might not have the same feelings and wants. Above all, respect her, and her choices.' I took the lesson to heart."
What's the best sex advice you ever got from an adult? Let us know in the comments!
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
