Woman second-guesses engagement after seeing fiancé’s ‘heartless’ behavior: ‘There is something wrong with [him]’

·3 min read

A woman can’t believe her fiancé’s reaction to her grieving the loss of a family member. 

She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum for advice. Her grandmother died the day after she got engaged. When she started to cry because of the loss, her fiancé ignored and belittled her. Now, she is wondering if she should marry him at all. 

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“Me and my fiancé got engaged a few days ago,” she explained. “The day after, my nan passed away after her long battle with cancer. Me and my partner went for a drive to buy a new cat today. And up until this drive, I hadn’t cried over my nan in front of him. I’ve had a cry in private but not around him, mainly because I know my partner didn’t like it when I cried. On the drive back home, I couldn’t contain how I was feeling, and I just broke. I cried for about three hours. At no point did I get any support; he just drove and sang along to the music like I wasn’t next to him sobbing. Anyway, we got home, and he just put the TV on. After about two hours of him not speaking to me, I tried to make conversation with him. His replies were very blunt, rude and quite snappy.”

She called him out on his behavior, but things just escalated even more. 

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 “I confronted him and asked him why he was speaking to me the way he was,” she said. “He responded by saying, ‘Because I’ve had to deal with you crying for God knows how long, and honestly, it’s made me exhausted.’ I then asked him why he couldn’t have just supported me and been there for me. He said, ‘Well, there’s nothing I can do about it. You were crying over something that’s not in our control.’ At that point, I got very upset and stormed off upstairs. He followed me and then said, ‘Oh my god, storming off, really? When are you gonna grow up? Stop being a child and act your age.’ I responded by telling him that I’m starting to feel like I made a mistake when I said yes to marrying him. He then told me I had to stay in the spare room tonight and hasn’t spoken to me since.” 

Reddit thought the fiancé’s behavior was a huge red flag. 

“There is something wrong with your fiancé,” a user said

“Only someone completely heartless would actually berate someone for being upset over a death,” another wrote

“Dude sounds like a freaking psychopath,” someone added

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