She explained the dilemma on Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum. Her boyfriend decided to move to a more expensive city without telling her first. She now visits him for two weeks every month, but she pays for her commute and half the groceries each time she goes. He doesn’t pay for anything, but now he wants her to pay for half his utilities and rent.
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“My boyfriend took a job in a different city, two hours away, without asking me for my opinion or even telling me that he’d applied for it,” she said. “He never asked me to move with him, but even if he had asked, I wouldn’t have been able to. I live in the same town as my parents, who are both ill. The city he’s moving to is also nearly twice as expensive to rent in. Since he moved, I’ve gone to visit him once or twice a month for a week. I’m spending about $100 to $200 each month to see him, and I pay half of any grocery shopping we do. I also rent my own apartment back in my hometown. Last week, he told me that he wants me to start paying half his bills and half the rent for when I come to stay with him.”
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The girlfriend refused to comply with her boyfriend’s financial demands.
“I told him that I wasn’t OK with that for a few reasons: he’s the one who chose to move to an expensive city without any of my input,” she explained. “I already pay train fares to see him, which he doesn’t contribute to, and I have to pay for my own apartment. If I paid half his rent, my cost of living would be higher than his for a situation I didn’t choose. He replied that it wasn’t fair that his bills increased when I came to visit him because of the water, electricity, etc. I told him that my train fare was the equivalent of that (and also much more expensive than just my portion of his water), so if he wanted me to pay half the bills, then he would have to pay half my train fare.”
Reddit users sided with the girlfriend on this one.
“Stop visiting him,” one person wrote.
“You DO NOT live with him, therefore paying for half his bills is ridiculous,” another said.
“He is using you,” a user commented.
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