Wedding Guests Are Revealing The Most Cringe Best Man And Maid Of Honor Speeches They've Heard, And It's Wild

Y'all, we're in wedding season. And while I love seeing people celebrate a union, sometimes the people surrounding the wedding don't know to act like they've been to one before — I'm talking about those wedding toasts! That's why I asked the BuzzFeed Community, "What's the most cringe best man or maid of honor speech you've ever witnessed?"

You'll be glad you're not at these particular weddings, but you still might want to take a seat (or a drink), because these are more than a little messy:

1."The maid of honor decided to put together a rap for her speech and feature another bridesmaid from the group. Don't get me wrong, I am totally for people branching out and doing things to make the day memorable. This rap was awful, though. There was no beat to it, just these two women cracking up at their own lyrics, which honestly were not funny. The entire group of wedding guests stood there, wide-eyed and mouths gaping open, almost like they had just witnessed a terrible car crash."

Searchlight Pictures / Via giphy.com

"The father of the bride, without even trying to whisper, said to me and my friends, 'This is a joke, right? It has to be!' When their five-minute rap finally came to an end, not a single person clapped." —sparkle_motion

2."It was a smaller backyard wedding of my friend, the bride, who I went to college with. The best man got up to give his speech and pretty much the first thing he said was, 'They were afraid to let me give a speech.' I should have known from there. He said many uncomfortable things, but the worst was, 'The groom and I have done everything together...well, except make each other cum.'"

Viceland / Via giphy.com

"The groom had two children from a previous relationship, so the best man also made a comment about how he hoped there would 'be no more of the groom's spawn running around because Lord knows we don't need that.' It was the most uncomfortable speech of my entire life, and I felt so bad for my friend." —Anonymous, 30

3."The best man, who was the groom's brother, said, 'On your wedding day, I have one piece of advice: Never accept chocolate milk from a woman who's lactating.' Then sat down."

4."The bride and groom were extremely down-to-earth. The bride's best friend got asked to be maid of honor and then the pandemic struck, so the wedding was postponed. Well, during lockdown, the maid of honor became an influencer of sorts! Her speech was super self-centered. She thanked all her sponsors for her dress, makeup, accessories. She didn't really mention the newlyweds until her last two sentences, which was essentially, 'Oh, and congrats, you two.'"

5."An uncle of the bride made a speech which was pretty much just a list of everyone in the family who had died that year."

—jennifersherlock

6."Early in college, I was in a public speaking course, and the last assignment we had was to have a speech or toast honoring someone. A guy in my class was going to be the best man in an upcoming wedding, so he brought in his speech. For context, he was a decent-looking bro type of guy. He started his speech with, 'My name is Derek, just in case any bridesmaids want to know what name to shout later.' It was pretty gross."

7."I went to a wedding where the best man was essentially giving the speech to the groom. I caught the vibe that he was actually telling the groom that he was in love with him and that he was subtly coming out during the duration of his speech. This was in front of a very Christian and conservative family. Everyone was so confused and awkwardly clapped. When he actually came out of the closet years later, the groom dropped him like a hot potato."

8."I went to a friend's wedding and heard the worst best man speech ever. The best man rambled on about how he and his bestie, the groom, moved into their college dorm and began looking for girls to hook up with. He detailed their scheme to impress the hot girls down the hall and how they struck out. His story continued with the two clueless besties obsessing over why the girls from the dorm rejected them. Then the best man abruptly ended the story by saying that everything worked out because the groom met the bride afterward. Huh? It kind of seemed like the point of his story was the bride was really lucky because they couldn't find any hot women to have sex with them when they were in college."

9."At my sister's wedding, the maid of honor was going through some things in her personal life and used the event as an opportunity to get blasted and let loose, which would be understandable if she weren't the maid of honor and had responsibilities. She started drinking that morning as we all got ready for the ceremony. She consumed most of the three bottles of champagne the venue supplied for the bridal suite and was hammered during the ceremony. She realized at the reception that she forgot her hand-written speech at the hotel and asked my mom to get it. My mom missed all of the other speeches, including my dad's, while she played fetch, and then when it was time for the maid of honor to give her speech, she slurred her way through it. She could hardly stand, made absolutely no sense, and forgot an entire paragraph in the middle."

10."At my cousin's wedding, there was a groomsman who had way too much to drink before speeches. He slurred his way through most of it, and then at the end, told a cringe inside joke which made sense to no one. Then, he pulled out a massive floppy dildo as a part of the inside joke. There was an audible gasp from the grandmas and aunties in attendance."

MTV / Via giphy.com

"It was painfully awkward, and the groom was mortified. I had a solid laugh, but it was actually pretty brutal." — Anonymous, 33

11."During the start of my best man speech I was giving this past weekend, I wasn't holding the mic close enough, and this woman in the front row shouted out that there was an issue with it. Later on, I was about halfway through and the same woman shouted out, 'I THINK THERE'S STILL AN ECHO,' literally in the middle of me saying a word. There literally was no issue, she was just hearing my voice and also the speakers. It completely ruined my flow, messed my flow up entirely, and made the whole thing cringe."

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"Everyone came up afterwards and said, 'I have no idea what she was thinking, there wasn't any issue.'" —Anonymous, 25

12."At my ex-friend's wedding, I was maid of honor. The best man was the groom's cousin. There wasn't a dry eye in the room after my speech. Then the best man got up. He was plastered. He took a sheet of paper out from his pocket, looked at it, said 'Screw it' very loudly, and ripped it up. He then said, 'Well, now you can screw legally and no one can stop you. Groom, you have to burn your porn, trust me, do it. No more blow jobs for you, Groomy-Boy! I need more whiskey...' Then he stumbled backwards and landed on his ass."

13."This is from my own wedding. My husband had two best men and our wedding was the last one out of his best friends. When each of his friends got married, they were all each other's best men — yes, it was that kind of bromance. My husband is incredibly thoughtful, and he made sure that both of the best man speeches he co-wrote for his friends were funny, heartfelt, and didn't poke too much fun at the bride and groom. In short, he kept the other best man in line. Unfortunately for us, my husband didn't have a hand in the speeches his best men wrote for our reception. Not only did they spend the entire speech making fun of him, but they told a fingering joke in front of the guests. I was mortified."

14."When our friends got married, neither the groom's best friend nor his brother were available on the date, so my husband was asked to be the best man. Even though he had more than a year to prepare, he refused to prepare anything. On the day of the wedding, he started off his speech by explaining he was picked to be best man because the 'true' best men hadn't bothered to clear their calendars."

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—Anonymous, 38

15."It happened during my sister's recent marriage. To start off, the maid of honor, my sister's friend since they were 4 years old, was weirdly jealous of her. My sister had been married twice before this wedding, and her friend was always salty she wasn't maid of honor for the previous marriages. During her maid of honor speech, she talked about every single boy my sister had ever remotely had a crush on. She rated them on a scale of 1–10, and some of them got a higher score than the actual groom. She said stuff about those boys that she thought my now brother-in-law could 'improve on.' It was pretty mean, and it actually made my sister cry."

16."I was a maid of honor in a wedding with two best men and two maids of honor. The other maid of honor and I decided to do a joint toast, but the best men were set on doing their own thing individually. The first best man decided to go the hype man route, and did that cringe thing where he yelled, 'How's everybody feeling tonight?!' like we were in a Vegas nightclub instead of a reception hall. When he didn't get the response he wanted, he yelled it again. It still didn't work. The other best man followed this up by going the religious route. He basically gave a three-minute sermon rambling about biblical marriage. It was so cringe that I kept drinking to feel less awkward, and almost ran out of wine in my glass for my own toast."

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"Needless to say, everyone enjoyed our joint speech way more. To this day, we still joke about the guys' speeches." —Anonymous, 29

17."I was part of the bridal party. Before the speeches, the maid of honor had a little too much to drink. She slurred through her speech and bawled in the middle of it. She talked about how much love the bride and groom have for each other, and how she wanted that for herself. She continued to cry about all of this, even though her then-boyfriend was literally at the wedding too."

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"Needless to say, she did not last long with that guy, but at least she is happily married now." —Anonymous, 31

18."A coworker was getting married in her mid-30s. Her maid of honor was a lifelong friend who got married young. The whole speech was either about how finally our friend was getting married or about how perfect her husband was. I lost count of how many times she referred to our friend finally getting married (truly with the over-emphasis each time mentioned). It was really uncomfortable and just felt unkind."

—Anonymous, 40

19."The groom had two best men, and they both gave the worst wedding speeches I've ever heard. The first talked about the Big Bang Theory and his atheist beliefs to a very religious crowd, including the groom and bride. Then the second best man spoke mostly of calculus and how he was disappointed that he was the only one out of their friend group who the bride hadn't hooked up with. There is a very funny picture that the photographer caught of the crowd during the speeches and each person in the picture has a very different facial expression, including sleepy, extreme confusion, bewilderment, and straight-up laughter."

20."The bride's parents were from Japan. The father of the bride said to his daughter that he was glad that she would 'finally have the nice white family she always dreamed about.' The groom and his family were white. Yikes."

What's the most cringe speech you've ever witnessed at a wedding? Give it another life and drop it in the comments!

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.