I Want What They Have (I Think?): Kanye West and Irina Shayk
It was the celebrity split heard round the world; in February, it became officially known that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian would be ending their seven-year marriage. If the question on your mind is “Who do you rebound with after Kim literal Kardashian?” fear not, because Kanye has answers; this week, he was seen spending quality time in France with model Irina Shayk, the ex-wife of actor Bradley Cooper.
It might seem, well, bizarre that I want any part of what West and Shayk have (after all, they’re getting papped while merely walking around in Provence), but hear me out. As a gay Cancer with some amount of Aries in her placement, I want...attention! Especially when I’m dating a new person. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I kind of want the world to revolve around my romance. Unfortunately—or luckily, depending on how you view it—I’m getting solidly into my late 20s (or, as you might call them, my pushing 30s), and my friends and loved ones just can’t be bothered to care all that much about who I’m dating, even if I swear to them that this is the one and things will be different and we’ll never, ever break up.
When I was 19, every romance got top billing; back in college, whoever had most recently hooked up with a promising candidate had the floor at brunch in the dining hall, with the hookup-ee momentarily experiencing a taste of celebrity as everyone crowded around them to find out how it was and whether it would happen again. It mostly didn’t, but that was okay; dating back then was little more than story collecting, and while I’m glad to be forming more meaningful relationships as an adult who can legally rent a car, I still kind of miss the thrill of being the couple—okay, one half of two people who just kissed—du jour.
I romanticize other things about West and Shayk’s brand-new relationship, including the fact that West allegedly rented out the luxury boutique hotel Villa La Coste for them. (Yeah, yeah, I know, I claim to be anti-capitalist, and yet I want this; I contain multitudes.) The two spent three nights together at the hotel, which is indeed the perfect amount of time; sex on the first night, fight on the second night, conciliatory room service and Say Yes to the Dress on the third night. What’s that, you say? Extremely famous and hot celebrities don’t spend their time consuming burgers in bed and watching wedding-dress-based reality TV? Sucks to be them!
For a random-seeming celebrity hookup, West and Shayk actually have roots that go back pretty deep; she played an angel in the 2010 music video for his song “Power,” meaning the two have known each other—at least in passing—for more than a decade. Would that all my rebound relationships were so meaningful! West’s ex, Kardashian, even seems to be reportedly fine with the couple, which is maximum lesbian energy, and I respect it. Mazel!
Originally Appeared on Vogue
