The Rush: Dak grabs big bank and the Nets add another big name
Dak Prescott finally got his new deal with the Dallas Cowboys and it included a record-setting $126M guaranteed. The Nets Brooklyn signed Blake Griffin, adding another huge name to an already potent lineup. And, the shortest player believed to ever earn a Division 1 basketball scholarship has entered his name into the transfer portal.
Video Transcript
JARED QUAY: Slide to the left. Side to the right. Two hip thrusts this time. Do, do. Now Dak Prescott, real smooth. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Dak Prescott finally got his deal yesterday. And boy, was it worth the wait. Four years, $160 million, and a record-setting $126 million guaranteed by Dallas, all of that coming off of a serious season-ending leg injury. I still don't think it's enough money to put up with Skip Bayless's bull [BLEEP]. But it definitely helps.
Brooklyn signed forward Blake Griffin, adding more star power to their already superstar-powered roster. For those counting at home, the Nets now have two league MVPs and 23 All-NBAs in that borough.
The superstar experiment has worked so far, with the Nets winning nine of their last 10 games. The signing isn't just significant because of star power either. The Nets now officially lead the league in number of conspiracy theorists on one roster.
OK, hear me out. I got a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theorists coming together to topple LeBron. Blake Griffin not only stays away from microwaves, but also once said that the Earth is only 6,000 years old.
- Wow, that's young.
- Oh, yeah.
JARED QUAY: Kyrie's been very vocal about the world being flat despite fifth century BC Greek philosophers who figured it out and photographic evidence to the contrary. I mean, them pictures are flat, but the objects in the picture aren't.
And KD insists for some weird reason that he's under 7 foot tall despite photographic evidence to the contrary. And this one ain't confirmed, but I'm pretty sure that James Harden got his own ecosystem in that beard. Hey, somebody tell Elon Musk, forget Mars. We've got to investigate James Harden's beard. That's where the secrets of life are.
And while KD wishes he was shorter, I can't say the same for Darnell Rogers.
- Who's that?
JARED QUAY: The UMBC guard, who stands at 5' 2", has entered his name into the transfer portal. He hopes to cap off an incredible career at a different school. Does the portal make you taller when you go through it? I think I thought it in "Back to the Future."
- I'm from the future.
JARED QUAY: Rogers was a starter for the Retrievers this last season, averaging 9 points a game. He's believed to be the shortest player ever to earn a Division I scholarship. Either way, my man can ball. I mean, honestly, he's inspiring. I mean, just imagine how many times he was told no. And I'm not just talking about at the rides at Disneyland.
- Oh, no, you didn't.
JARED QUAY: Opposing teams' security guards when he goes to games and say, I'm a player. Or the rim when he tries to dunk. Wherever you end up next, Darnell, I'm sure you're going to ball out, man. Honestly, it's a story that's really great, man. I hope you make it to the NBA. In fact, I hope you make All-NBA. I hope you break barriers for everybody who's not that tall to show that you can do it. You keep doing what you're doing, brother man.
Y'all just jealous because my man can make coach feel like first class. He got all the extra leg room. And if he brings his own wine there, you know, you got to talk or pay for none of that.
