Video: Jeopardy! contestants can't identify Tim Duncan, doom entire nation

The NBA courts youth culture more than any other major sports league, but sometimes that pursuit of young fans doesn't pan out. For proof, check out this clip from Jeopardy's collegiate tournament, which began last week and continues Monday night with the start of the semifinal round.

You would think that a bunch of 20-year-old kids would have been able to identify a three-time finals MVP at center for the Spurs, but Tim Duncan(notes) just doesn't speak to the kids today in the same way as one of those Justin Biebers, or the Pokemons, or whatever the hell kids are into these days. Maybe these bookworms would have had an easier time with the clue if Alex Trebek had mentioned Duncan's love of Dungeons & Dragons. Because that's what nerds like!

I watch Jeopardy every night -- yes, I am very cool, thanks for noticing -- so I feel it's my duty to note that this Duncan miss was but the tip of the iceberg. One other question in the category required the contestants to identify a technical foul, which they had seemingly never heard of. Luckily they had heard of Kobe Bryant(notes), most likely because of his musical career. As you can tell from the board, this was also the last category chosen in the round. That's right, these three geniuses wanted to question five answers about vultures before trying one about basketball.

It's enough to make you fear for the future of our country. If our nation's youth cannot appreciate the quiet and dependable greatness of The Big Fundamental, what hope do we have? Pretty soon we will be a populace of Ladies Gaga, gyrating everywhere and wearing ribeye dresses to black-tie socials. And then we will wonder aloud, "Alas, why did we not look towards the example of Tim Duncan, the most professional craftsman of all?"

Good luck to the remaining Jeopardy contestants as they attempt to win enough scholarship money to make the NCAA blush.

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