C'mon, Hedo Turkoglu. It's 2012. All three seasons of "Arrested Development" have been on DVD for almost six years now. How do you still not know that there's no touching?
With just under four minutes remaining and the Orlando Magic clinging to a one-point lead over the Chicago Bulls in their nationally televised matchup on Thursday night, Turkoglu isolated up top against Chicago defender Kyle Korver. The Magic forward then drove left around a Dwight Howard screen, gained the lane and elevated to attempt a layup over the outstretched arms of Korver and the rotating Carlos Boozer. Turkoglu lost the ball on the way up, it went out of bounds, and referee Karl Lane awarded possession to Chicago.
Feeling he was fouled on the play, an incredulous Turkoglu ran right over to Lane to dispute the no-call and make his case. And because Hedo is a big proponent of the "show, don't tell" writing technique, he was pretty demonstrative in doing so. Like, physically demonstrative, which is a no-no that'll get you T'd up just about every time.
Hit the jump for the letter of the law on not touching officials, plus more on the play and the rest of the night's top stories from our friends at the Yahoo! Sports Minute.
All basketball players know they can't feel up refs, but for the purposes of our edification, the chapter and verse on Turk's tech comes from Rule No. 12 of the league's rulebook.
The first portion of that rule governs technical fouls, and the relevant passage is Section V ("Conduct"). Learn it, know it, live it (emphasis mine):
d. A technical foul shall be assessed for unsportsmanlike tactics such as:
(1) Disrespectfully addressing an official
(2) Physically contacting an official
(3) Overt actions indicating resentment to a call [...]
Now that we know the law, what's the punishment for breaking it? For that, we turn to the Comments on the Rules for guidance on the basic principles governing contact situations:
E. PHYSICAL CONTACT—SUSPENSION
Any player or coach guilty of intentional physical contact with an official shall automatically be suspended without pay for one game. A fine and/or longer period of suspension will result if circumstances so dictate.
Whoops, Hedo. You were trying to get yourself an extra possession, and instead you might have lost yourself 89.3 of them. Talk about your all-time backfires.
While the league could decide that Turkoglu's two-hand touch should knock him out of Orlando's Sunday evening showdown with the Indiana Pacers, the tech didn't wreck the Magic in Chicago on Thursday night.
Korver made the one-shot freebie to knot the game at 89 with 3:47 to go, and Chicago took the lead less than a minute later on a 16-footer by Boozer. But the Magic responded with a 7-0 run to put the Bulls back in the rearview and hang on for a 99-94 win that snapped Chicago's eight-game winning streak. Howard led the Magic with 29 points, 18 rebounds and three blocked shots, while Turkoglu chipped in 13 points (despite missing 7 of 10 field-goal attempts) to go with six rebounds and six assists.
Reigning league MVP Derrick Rose struggled with his shot all night, needing 22 tries to score 16 points, but he did dish out nine assists to just one turnover in more than 36 minutes. Boozer led the Bulls with 26 points, seven boards and four steals.
Is the video above not rocking for you? Feel free to peruse the tech elsewhere, thanks to Ben Golliver of CBSSports.com.