October 21, 2011
The Buffalo Bills' performance used to make stomachs churn — now it's what the resurgent NFL team's Ontario fans will do for tickets that puts the 'ralph' in Ralph Wilson Stadium.
Sometimes it takes quite a bit of preamble to set up a clip. This is not one of those times. Kingston, Ont., radio station K-Rock 105.7 held a contest on Friday where listeners, wearing goggles and surgical masks, dug through buffalo feces dumped into a kiddie pool — yeah, that's right, buffalo feces — to win Buffalo Bills tickets. Faster than you could say, "S---, there has not been this much demand for tickets to the Bills in Toronto games!" contestants dug through the dung for ducats.
The overwhelming whiff of desperation and gimme-gimme-gimme greed — plus the the stench from a kiddie pool full of buffalo feces — caused the deejay, Sarah Crosbie, to vomit until she dry-heaved. All this happened live, on the air.
(This is not for the faint of stomach.)
Could you think of a better confirmation than that the Bills, who are 4-2 this season and looking like a playoff contender for the first time since 1999, have made believers out of their fanbase in Ontario? Well, you could probably think of a cleaner one.
The camera pointer did not catch Crosbie throwing up, but the audio more than suffices. Really, that's fine. You can show people digging through bovine droppings to win a NFL ticket package valued at $320, but you cannot show someone vomiting. That would be disgusting.
Crosbie is a good sport. It's a true media professional who can wear a cheerleader costume in 10C weather, vomit and keep it together to hug a contest winner, Nicole Norman, whose hands and arms are covered in clumps of bovine fecal matter. Meantime, what about the man who kept rooting through said fecal matter even after the winning canister had been located? It turns out second prizes was passes to visit a zoo, but was the really worth it? We'll never know what he was thinking, just like Bills fans claim we will never know if the Tennessee Titans' Music City Miracle in the 1999 NFL playoffs involved an illegal forward pass.
(For the last time, it was legal.)
Neate Sager is a writer for Yahoo! Canada Sports. Contact him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @neatebuzzthenet.