Power Rankings: San Diego is sunny

The San Diego Padres are still winning, still climbing in rankings.

Another month or two like this, they'll start looking legit.

Week 21 (Records through Wednesday):

New York

1.New York Yankees (78-49; Previous: 1) – Yanks can't shake Rays, consider buying them and selling off parts.

Tampa Bay

2.Tampa Bay Rays (78-49; Previous: 2) – Maddon tweets ode to rascally dome: "Most recent whine was my getting on Trop roof, have since apologized to said roof and r now on much better terms, maybe best ever." Next, plans couples therapy with sticky office door lock.

San Diego

3. San Diego Padres (76-49; Previous: 4) – Management bans German Shepherds, other allegedly menacing breeds, from ballpark event. The stadium subsequently is renamed SomePetco Park.


4.Boston Red Sox (73-55; Previous: 3) – What goes around comes around. Moral of the story: Be nice to your departed Idiots.


5.Atlanta Braves (73-54; Previous: 6) – Braves trying to hold off Phillies, feel they hold advantage in "sixth reserve left fielder" department.


6.Texas Rangers (72-54; Previous: 5) – Parachutist snagged on light pole at Rangers Ballpark. After rescue, new team owners marvel at Mark Cuban's determination.


7.Minnesota Twins (72-55; Previous: 9) – Mauer hits his first Target Field home run. Great to see relief come over him. Last 90 feet of moonwalk was a little much.


8.Cincinnati Reds (73-54; Previous: 12) – Rolen wryly calls club's 16-5 loss to Giants "a two-possession game late," does not say whether one of those possessions was Manny Ramirez(notes).


9.Philadelphia Phillies (70-56; Previous: 8) – Oswalt catches easy fly ball in left field, gets standing ovation, pretty sure it's as good a time as any to retire.

San Francisco

10.San Francisco Giants (71-57; Previous: 11) – Two-thirds of earth's surface covered by water, other third by Giants outfielders milling around hoping for playing time.

St. Louis

11.St. Louis Cardinals (68-56; Previous: 7) – Cards lose five in a row shortly after leaving Cincy, think they're ready for another swift kick in butt from Johnny Cueto's(notes) spikes.


12.Chicago White Sox (68-58; Previous: 10) – Kenny Williams hoping to add Manny to roster. Juan Pierre(notes) strongly considers restraining order.


13.Toronto Blue Jays (66-60; Previous: 13) – Bautista facing steroids questions, says they're actually tougher than gopher-balling American League pitching.


14.Colorado Rockies (66-60; Previous: 14) – Rockies figured they'd be looking down on rest of division by now. And, well, from a mile up, technically they are.


15.Florida Marlins (63-62; Previous: 18) – Loria living high life on revenue sharing, which explains previous references to former Yankees owner as George (Sugar Daddy) Steinbrenner.


16.Oakland Athletics (63-62; Previous: 17) – Braden scheduled to pitch next week in the 718, already been advised not to run over A-Rod's trainer's table.

Los Angeles

17.Los Angeles Dodgers (65-62; Previous: 16) – Manny prefers not to think of it as being run out of town, but as a really, really fun parade with torches and pitchforks.

Los Angeles

18.Los Angeles Angels (63-65; Previous: 15) – Angels find a use for all those spare halos, loan them to scoreboard operator.

New York

19.New York Mets (63-63; Previous: 19) – Bay says he's over concussion issues, club hopes that means he'll stop standing at Citi Field turnstiles welcoming people to Wal-Mart.


20.Detroit Tigers (63-64; Previous: 20) – Damon says he loves Detroit. People of Detroit rejoice, though admittedly a little suspicious.


21.Milwaukee Brewers (59-67; Previous: 21) – Club unveils statue of Bud Selig, folks somewhat amused to see it replicating Selig throwing pitch that clinched 1982 pennant.


22.Houston Astros (57-69; Previous: 23) – Judge issues Clemens gag order, legalese that apparently has nothing whatsoever to do with evidence photos of Rocket's gluteal abscess.


23.Washington Nationals (53-74; Previous: 22) – Strasburg goes to DL, elbow to Smithsonian.

Kansas City

24.Kansas City Royals (54-73; Previous: 25) – Kila Ka'aihue(notes) has an okina on his back, somewhat cooler than the monkey on Alex Gordon's.(notes)


25.Chicago Cubs (54-74; Previous: 24) – Sammy Sosa says no one should wear his uniform No. 21 again. Team agrees, says it's so stretched out they're using it to re-carpet executive suites anyway.


26.Cleveland Indians (50-76; Previous: 27) – Indians in AL bottom three in runs, ERA and fielding. They are, however, top three in bottom threes.


27.Arizona Diamondbacks (49-78; Previous: 26) – D'backs still rehabbing Brandon Webb(notes), sign Mike Hampton(notes), waiting for Braves to come to town so they can try out Sutton.


28.Seattle Mariners (50-77; Previous: 29) – Ichiro(notes) rumored to have stumped for Valentine as manager. Second choice is guy who's there now, um, name escapes Ichiro.


29.Baltimore Orioles (45-82; Previous: 28) – Ripken turns 50, reveals his friends now call him One A Day with Iron Man.


30.Pittsburgh Pirates (43-84; Previous: 30) – NL ballclub clinches another losing season, gotten so bad Somalian scallywags have asked to be referred to as "the swashbuckling Orioles."