If the schedule is going to keep lobbing them Orioles and Astros, the Yankees will go ahead and take over the top spot in the rankings.
In honor of the occasion, Joe Girardi is considering changing his number again.
Week 11 (records through Wednesday):
1.New York Yankees (41-24; Previous: 2) – Coming Hughes Rules: 1) To lessen chance of injury, limit pitch count; 2) To ensure strength late in season, skip occasional start; 3) To maximize postseason effectiveness, acquire Cliff Lee(notes).
2.Tampa Bay Rays (41-24; Previous: 1) – Barenaked Ladies to perform after game at The Trop next week, Rays ownership to join band for encore rendition of "If I Had $1,000,000."
3.Boston Red Sox (39-28; Previous: 8) – Red Sox Nation preps for return of prodigal Manny, is a little embarrassed it turned his bedroom into rumpus room for grandkids.
4.Atlanta Braves (38-28; Previous: 9) – Braves wonder if Glaus is new Chipper. Or, if Chipper is new Glaus.
5.Minnesota Twins (38-27; Previous: 3) – Firefighters search for ignition point of Target Field kitchen fire, so far have eliminated arson, lightning, wiring, Twins offense.
6.San Francisco Giants (37-28; Previous: 14) – Burrell moves from Tampa to San Francisco, bats .407 in first 10 games with Giants, credits personal credo: "One bay at a time."
7.Los Angeles Dodgers (38-27; Previous: 10) – A little nervous about his return to Fenway, Manny secretly wishes things had ended differently in Boston. By differently, of course, he means sooner.
8.Texas Rangers (37-28; Previous: 15) – Harden goes to disabled list, bullpen looking forward to the rest.
9.San Diego Padres (38-28; Previous: 5) – Padres fans cheer in-game earthquake at Petco, disappointed when second sign of apocalypse wasn't run support.
10.Cincinnati Reds (36-30; Previous: 7) – Rolen credits recent offensive success to "blind-squirrel theory," which also happens to explain why he's been eating so well.
12.Los Angeles Angels (37-32; Previous: 16) – Scioscia prefers not to cover first base with rental player. Would not, however, be averse to a little fixer-upper who could drive ball into nice neighborhood.
13.New York Mets (37-28; Previous: 20) – Out of three, Lady Gaga shows Mets fans how many wins they should expect in weekend Subway Series at Yankee Stadium.
14.St. Louis Cardinals (36-30; Previous: 6) – McGwire, who cursed the bad luck of playing in steroid era, now suffers bad luck of being hitting coach when Cards' offense tanks. Guy can't catch a break.
15.Philadelphia Phillies (33-30; Previous: 11) – Phils fans bemoaning Lee trade search expanded standings for Minor League Depth category.
17.Colorado Rockies (33-32; Previous: 17) – Reaching for Jimenez moniker, locals appear to have settled on U the Man. Close seconds: U-Haul, U Betcha, and U Complete Me.
18.Oakland Athletics (33-34; Previous: 13) – A's would love move to San Jose, however have serious doubts about getting Coliseum cleaning deposit back.
19.Florida Marlins (31-34; Previous: 14) – Last in league in attendance, Marlins management hoping to create livelier atmosphere, distributes vuvuzelas to bullpen, bench players and coaching staff.
20.Washington Nationals (31-35; Previous: 19) – Strasburg's first two starts were against Pirates and Indians, schedule has next two against White Sox and Royals. If all goes well, should be ready for major league lineups after that.
21.Chicago White Sox (30-34; Previous: 22) – Sox take lead in BP Cup, don't even hang around to paper-towel oily mess off Byrd.
22.Chicago Cubs (29-36; Previous: 21) – Cubs thrilled when Hawks come through with Stanley Cup, had no idea a championship comes with a trophy and everything.
23.Kansas City Royals (28-38; Previous: 25) – Royals out of last place for weeks, can't believe how pathetic Indians are.
24.Milwaukee Brewers (28-38; Previous: 24) – Prince batting league-worst .156 with runners in scoring position, appears to have hit upon way for Brewers to afford him.
25.Arizona Diamondbacks (26-40; Previous: 27) – Byrnes out to blow up roster. Sadly, fewer and fewer day workers around to help clean up debris.
26.Houston Astros (26-40; Previous: 29) – City officials consider demolishing Astrodome. So far, haven't been able to lure Astros in first.
27.Seattle Mariners (25-41; Previous: 23) – Mariners swap assignments, move third-base coach Brumley to first. Several hitters meet Brumley for first time later that evening.
28.Cleveland Indians (25-39; Previous: 28) – Indians set up Strasburg merchandise stand, make mint on T-shirts, jerseys, souls.
29.Pittsburgh Pirates (23-42; Previous: 26) – Bucs' run on losing seasons prepares to become a man: Only a 59-38 record over final 3½ months prevent it from turning 18.
30.Baltimore Orioles (18-48; Previous: 30) – O's pacing 1962 Mets, remind themselves it's not a sprint, but a slow, grotesque, ultimately humiliating slog of a marathon.