Power Rankings: Human element intervenes

Here's another installment of our bi-weekly power rankings.

You might not agree with the order, but we're not about perfection, we're about the human element.

Week 9 (records through Wednesday):

Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay

1.Tampa Bay Rays (36-18; Previous: 1) – Rays' Rodriguez attacked in wild by team mascot, said it could have been worse, could have been playing for Detroit.


New York
New York

2.New York Yankees (33-20; Previous: 2) – Yanks creep up on Rays, remind selves to shuffle feet on AL East floor.


Minnesota
Minnesota

3.Minnesota Twins (31-22; Previous: 4) – Griffey retires hours before game; Twins believe M's should have allowed him one more game in center field and in cleanup spot, you know, for old times.


Toronto
Toronto

4.Toronto Blue Jays (31-24; Previous: 7) – Jays note Orioles' Jones detained at border, still can't believe how often Ricciardi got across.


San Diego
San Diego

5.San Diego Padres (32-21; Previous: 6) – Padres believe they're for real; where else would all these piles of laundry come from?


St. Louis
St. Louis

6.St. Louis Cardinals (31-23; Previous: 11) – Lohse injury more common among motocross riders, so is ERA.


Cincinnati
Cincinnati

7.Cincinnati Reds (31-23; Previous: 10) – In May, Reds led NL in home runs, batting average and on-base percentage, second in runs; Dusty blamed for too many shoulder-threatening high fives from pitchers.


Boston
Boston

8.Boston Red Sox (31-23; Previous: 12) – Ortiz has huge May (.363, 10 homers, 27 RBIs), plans four stops in June for I-Told-You-So tour.


Atlanta
Atlanta

9.Atlanta Braves (31-22; Previous: 16) – Braves go last to first in 15 days, beat Maj. Gen. Sherman's record by three weeks.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

10.Los Angeles Dodgers (31-22; Previous: 13) – June arrival significant for players in many ways, for Belisario means time to get working on next year's work visa.


Philadelphia
Philadelphia

11.Philadelphia Phillies (28-24; Previous: 3) – In touching sit-down with Oprah, infamous Philly vomiter claims to be a regular baseball fan, proves it by listing all-time favorite players: Ralph Kiner, Jesse Barfield, Ed Sprague, Chuck Finley, Justin Retchless, Jake Thrower and Andrew Puka.


Detroit
Detroit

12.Detroit Tigers (27-25; Previous: 5) – Deep down, Tigers wish if Selig was going to overturn something, it would be Willis contract.


Oakland
Oakland

13.Oakland Athletics (28-26; Previous: 17) – Flyer Pronger breaches hockey etiquette by pocketing puck after Stanley Cup losses, a code violation that is also dear to the folks of the 209.


San Francisco
San Francisco

14.San Francisco Giants (28-24; Previous: 8) – Posey ignites offense, Sandoval brings the steaks and sausages.


Texas
Texas

15.Texas Rangers (28-24; Previous: 9) – Vlad beans self, doesn't recall past bad blood with self, thinks maybe self just had one get away, holds no grudge against self.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

16.Los Angeles Angels (27-28; Previous: 18) – Kendrick hits walk-off, club mobilizes local authorities to foam plate area and line final 90 feet with fire trucks and emergency personnel.


Colorado
Colorado

17.Colorado Rockies (28-25; Previous: 19) – Jimenez atypical delivery makes him "feel like a hurricane," which explains why he refuses to pitch near trailer parks.


Florida
Florida

18.Florida Marlins (27-27; Previous: 14) – Marlins management selling off unused perfect-game tickets, also list on eBay whiskers Halladay left in bathroom sink and footprints lifted from hitters' necks.


Washington
Washington

19.Washington Nationals (26-28; Previous: 15) – Nats plan to work fast after Monday draft, on Tuesday have Harper catch Strasburg.


New York
New York

20.New York Mets (27-27; Previous: 20) – Perez refuses minor league assignment, much to relief of Buffalo Bisons' coaching staff.


Chicago
Chicago

21.Chicago Cubs (24-29; Previous: 21) – Fontenot takes over second base from Theriot, Piniella seeking better at-bats, more production, maybe a hard T at end of name.


Chicago
Chicago

22.Chicago White Sox (22-30; Previous: 22) – Williams, Guillen reportedly not getting along, still able to share laugh over good old days, when their biggest issue was social networking.


Seattle
Seattle

23.Seattle Mariners (21-31; Previous: 24) – Mariners win game for Junior, need only 70 more icons to retire this season to get back into race.


Milwaukee
Milwaukee

24.Milwaukee Brewers (22-31; Previous: 28) – Macha, on whether Hoffman will return to closer role: "Do you want me to get tarred and feathered?" Brewers fans: "That question was rhetorical, right?"


Kansas City
Kansas City

25.Kansas City Royals (22-32; Previous: 27) – Bloomquist and Kendall intend post-baseball careers as Olympic bobsledders, thinking time in Kansas City brings valuable experience in going downhill fast.


Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

26.Pittsburgh Pirates (22-31; Previous: 23) – Woman sues Google for providing unclear direction, sending her on harmful course; precedent-minded Pirates fans watching very closely.


Arizona
Arizona

27.Arizona Diamondbacks (20-34; Previous: 25) – Owner Kendrick displeased with underachieving D'backs, tries to soothe himself by remembering times when all those strikeouts were considered cute.


Cleveland
Cleveland

28.Cleveland Indians (19-32; Previous: 26) – Galarraga throws one-hitter, gets new 'Vette. Wasn't so bad for Indians until he had Hafner bring the car around after the game.


Houston
Houston

29.Houston Astros (19-34; Previous: 29) – Astros swept more often than the floor of an Army barbershop.


Baltimore
Baltimore

30.Baltimore Orioles (15-38; Previous: 30) – Angelos takes Memorial Day white caps, sews them all together and runs them up center field flag pole.