The Most Common Fantasy Football Draft Personalities: Which one are you?

It's fantasy football draft season! (Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images)
It's fantasy football draft season! (Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images)

There is a cast of characters in every fantasy football league. If you’ve been in the same league for a long time, you may have already discovered these characters. If you’re new to Yahoo Fantasy Football, consider this your crash course.

At no time of the year do these characters reveal their personalities more openly than during a fantasy football draft. It’s arguably the best time of the year for fantasy gamers, the time you finally get to build your team — and have a blast doing it, too.

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The characteristics may vary slightly for these personalities when they reveal themselves on draft day/night, but they all fit into very distinct, very conspicuous profiles.

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If you and your leaguemates gather in August for a draft party, you will find these personalities in their most natural habitat. And if you haven’t yet realized who in your league(s) fits into what archetype — or which YOU fit into — don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

We here at Yahoo Fantasy have taken years of very serious, completely factual, by-the-book scientific research to deliver these detailed profiles to you (kind of).

So, without further ado, here are the seven fantasy football draft personalities.

THE EXPERT

The Expert is the most common of the personalities you will find at a fantasy football draft. A veteran of multiple leagues, The Expert is well-versed in statistics, player performance/trends/histories, as well as various fantasy formats. The problem here is that The Expert’s tireless thirst for knowledge hasn’t exactly translated into fantasy championship success — a fact his/her leaguemates constantly remind him/her of. Year after year, The Expert drafts a balanced, contending team, he/she makes great pickups off the waiver wire and makes informed start/sit decisions ... only to lose by the slimmest of margins in the playoffs. But hey, keep your head up, Expert — maybe this is your year.

Quotes you might hear from The Expert at a draft:

“He’s definitely one of my sleepers this year.”
”I don’t know about him — he finished RB22 in .5 PPR formats last season.”
”Check Mike Evans’ air yards.”

Average fantasy finish: 3rd.

THE OLD HEAD

Don’t let the name fool you — The Old Head might not even be an older person at all. They do prefer the old-school ways of doing things, however. The Old Head might arrive at the draft party armed with a pen and pad or a stack of outdated fantasy magazines. The Old Head might make (more than one) mention of how “they” used to score fantasy leagues with pen and paper. He/She might name-drop players no one else has heard of. With that said, he/she might come off as out-of-touch and maybe a tad arrogant, but please understand: The Old Head has played in countless fantasy leagues. They know their stuff and they know how to win, even if their tactics are a bit different from everyone else’s.

Quotes you might hear from The Old Head at a draft:

“You guys wouldn’t understand.”
”Reminds me of 1996, when ...”
”Nah, I don’t need the WiFi.”

Average fantasy finish: Unknown.

...

(OK, we got tired of calculating after getting to the 146th league.)

THE ROOKIE

No fantasy draft would be complete without the Rookie. This individual might be completely new to fantasy football or maybe just has a season or two under their belt. They might be a big football fan, but The Rookie is still getting used to the ins-and-outs of fantasy. So be patient when they hesitantly make their picks, or when they ask why Tom Brady is still on the draft board even though he’s the #goat.

Quotes you might hear from The Rookie at a draft:

“Why do I have to wait so long for my next pick?”
”His name is always coming up on Yahoo Fantasy articles.”
”Do drafts normally last this long?”

Average fantasy finish: 9th and 5th.

THE PARTY ANIMAL

The second most common personality at a fantasy football draft, the Party Animal is exactly what he/she sounds like: A party animal. The Party Animal is that person who, when the league is deciding where to hold the draft, always innocently suggests a sports bar. The Party Animal might bring friends to the draft who aren’t even in the league. He/She might ask everyone what they’re drinking right before the draft starts. He/She might suggest music be played in the background. The Party Animal might unleash cheers or jeers after every pick is made, and will only get louder as the draft moves along.

This might all sound like negative qualities, but the Party Animal is an integral part of a fantasy football league. They keep things light and are a living, breathing reminder that this is a game and you should have fun playing it. Unfortunately, after all those drinks and hilarious outbursts, you can imagine how their team looks when it’s all said and done.

Fantasy Football Draft Kit
Fantasy Football Draft Kit

Quotes you might hear from The Party Animal at a draft:

“Why aren’t you drinking?”
”Whoever drafts Greg Zuerlein first has to take a shot!”
”WHOOOO!!!” followed closely by “LET’S GOOOOO!!!”

Average fantasy finish: Between 12th and 7th.

THE MULTITASKER

The Multitasker might either be really good at managing their time or really horrible at it. The Multitasker somehow executes a fantasy draft while doing any combination of the following:

  • Eating (and I mean EATING, not just snacking) while trying to choose between players

  • Talking on the phone with someone about something totally different from fantasy football while also looking at their draft board

  • Doing professional work on their laptop while simultaneously shouting out their draft picks

  • Drafting in another fantasy league at the same time as this draft

  • All of the above

Further research is needed to discover whether The Multitasker is crazy for drafting this way, or on another plane of fantasy-gamer-existence.

Quotes you might hear from The Multitasker at a draft:

“Hold on, just give me a second!”
“Oh, Deshaun Watson was drafted already? Uhhh ... ”
”Damn, I have five guys with the same bye week.”

Average fantasy finish: 5th.

THE TROLL

Every fantasy football league has one — even if he/she hasn’t presented him/herself yet. The Troll, like the Party Animal, is an avid fantasy gamer, but eventually, they get taken over by their incessant need for excitement, fun, and a little chaos. The Troll might have a permanent smirk on his/her face on draft night. They might proclaim themselves the winners of the draft before it’s even started. He/She might make a snarky remark after certain picks are made, and will not hesitate to call out picks that don’t necessarily match up to their ADPs. The Troll might start drafting people’s handcuffs just because they’re there. If a quarterback is selected before him, The Troll might then draft that quarterback’s favorite target.

You can’t help but laugh, though — The Troll is blessed with an excellent sense of humor. In the spirit of competitiveness, The Troll often has multiple rivals in the league, and hey, what’s fantasy football without a little smack talk?

Quotes you might hear from The Troll at a draft:

“That’s a REACH!”
”Y’all done let me get James White.”
”I don’t even know why you guys are still drafting — do you see my team?!”

Average fantasy finish: Somehow, and to the disdain of everyone else in the league, between 1st and 3rd.

THE LEGEND

Mysterious. Enigma. We come to him/her at last: The Legend. It seems like every fantasy league has one. The Legend barely speaks during the season, unless spoken to, that is. He/She barely makes an appearance in person — he/she might just FaceTime or Skype their picks during the draft! If they do make it to the draft party, however, don’t be surprised when their random Round 8 pick causes audible “Oooh”s and “Ahhh”s throughout the room.

No one knows much about The Legend — some in the league may even doubt his/her existence, but make no mistake: The Legend exists, and he/she is a dominant fantasy gamer with plenty of trophies under their belt. You won’t hear them talk about those wins though. You might not even hear The Legend at all — until it’s too late.

Quotes you might hear from The Legend at a draft:

“Well, since no one has drafted him ...”
”Haha, nah.”
” **Silence** ”

Average fantasy finish: 1st or — on extremely rare occasions — 2nd place.

Did we miss any personalities? Let us know, and if you haven’t yet started playing on Yahoo Fantasy, join or create a fantasy football league here!

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