The Match 3.0: MJ vs. Isiah? KD vs. Draymond? Joe Exotic vs. Carole Baskin?

Dan WetzelColumnist
Yahoo Sports

After delivering massive television ratings and more than $20 million to coronavirus-related charities, Phil Mickelson told the Los Angeles Times that the plan is to make “The Match” an annual thing. 

The first one, in 2018, featured a head-to-head game between Mickelson and Tiger Woods (Phil won $9 million). It was OK. On Sunday they brought in playing partners and did it all for charity. It was awesome. 

Woods and Peyton Manning defeated Mickelson and Tom Brady

Now they want to rerack it, only with new playing partners for the pros, staging it on the Friday after Thanksgiving and finding new charitable organizations each year. 

“It’s about finding the right mix of those competitors and I don’t think we could get two better guys than who we had in Peyton and Tom,” Mickelson said. “Going forward, that will be the challenge. How do we improve on that?”

It won’t be easy Phil, but we here at Yahoo Sports do have some suggestions to spice this up ...

Tiger Woods and Peyton Manning celebrate defeating Phil Mickelson and Tom Brady during The Match: Champions For Charity at Medalist Golf Club. (Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images for The Match)
Tiger Woods and Peyton Manning celebrate defeating Phil Mickelson and Tom Brady during The Match: Champions For Charity at Medalist Golf Club. (Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images for The Match)

Michael Jordan vs. Isiah Thomas

“The Last Dance” docuseries showed MJ is still plenty bitter at the old Bad Boys Detroit Pistons in general and Isiah in particular. Meanwhile Isiah is still angry that Jordan kept him off the 1992 Olympic Dream Team. Bill Laimbeer can serve as caddie and after bumping Jordan into a water hazard, cry when called for it.

Bill Belichick vs. Roger Goodell

Spygate. Deflategate. A million other slights, real or imagined. There is no passive-aggressive anger like Belichick passive-aggressive anger. Is a hoodie with cut-off sleeves proper country club attire? BB would get so far into Goodell’s head the Commish would be hitting into bunkers he didn’t know existed. “I’m seeing ghosts.”

Alex Bregman vs. Clayton Kershaw

A blood match over the disputed 2017 World Series. Keep an eye out for Alex Cora hiding behind a tree banging a garbage can during Kershaw’s backswing.

Michael Jordan vs. Horace Grant

“Lie, lie, lie,” Grant said of the “Last Dance,” including his depiction. “If MJ had a grudge with me, let’s settle this like men.” Does a charity golf match count?

Barry Bonds vs. Mark McGwire

They’d have to retro and cycle up. Long drive contest would be epic. Do they make hats big enough for their expanding heads?

Charles Oakley vs. James Dolan

Loser is permanently banned from Madison Square Garden. Course is overrun with Knicks fans rooting Oakley on.

Brett Favre vs. Aaron Rodgers

No one is allowed in the gallery unless they can pronounce Wauwatosa and are wearing a foam wedge of cheese on their head. Drink cart stocked with G. Heileman’s finest. Afterward, Favre might ask to mow the fairways.

Kevin Durant vs. Draymond Green

One of the toughest shots in golf is when you have one foot (in the bunker) and one foot out.

Michael Jordan vs. LeBron James

With no games being played, the Jordan-LeBron debate filled countless hours of empty sports talk radio this spring. This is no dumber of a way of settling things than repeatedly arguing whether MJ could have reached the Finals with Matthew Dellavedova as his running mate.

Ed Orgeron vs. whomever

Mic up LSU’s national championship coach making breakfast and no one would change the channel. Geaux Ti-GUHS!

Barack Obama vs. Donald Trump

Golfers in Chief square off. No cheating though.

The Rock vs. The Mountain

Tie-breaker format would include the tossing of golf carts.

Joe Exotic vs. Carole Baskin

One loves caging tigers, one loves protecting them by putting them in cages. Tell us you wouldn't watch these quarantine legends squaring off with clubs in their hands.

Kim Jong-un vs. Kim Yo-Jung

Brother-sister dictator battle. In 1994, the North Korean state media reported that their late father, Kim Jong Il, carded a 38-under par 34 at the Pyongyang Golf Course. The round included five holes in one. So there is clearly talent in the family. Winner gets to be the “Dear Leader” and perhaps have the other assassinated.

Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich vs. Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich

Match can’t be played on a Sunday.

Lance Armstrong vs. The Truth

Truth wins 9 & 8.  

Michael Jordan vs. … well, everybody

Scottie Pippen. Steve Kerr. Jerry Krause. Gary Payton. Charles Barkley. Scott Burell. That high school coach who put him on the JV. The dude who ratted him out for losing so many golf bets. The security guard who beat him at quarters that one time. Charlotte Hornet season-ticket holders.

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