The Texas football program is being mocked all over social media right now.
It’s not because they’ve lost three consecutive games where they blew double-digit leads, either. On Monday evening, rumors began to surface that a monkey who belongs to Texas special teams coordinator Jeff Banks’ girlfriend, Dani, reportedly bit a child on Halloween.
Dani immediately expressed her frustrations via Twitter and denied the allegations — to some extent. She claimed that she did not know a bite took place at the time, and if a child were to go to their backyard and see the monkey, they would have had to enter a gate that was marked ‘do not enter.”
Jeff Banks has yet to comment on the allegations, but his girlfriend’s Twitter account has now been deactivated. That hasn’t stopped fans from other teams taking advantage of the opportunity to poke fun at Texas, though.
Puns, memes, and jokes are floating around social media regarding the monkey saga that happened to go viral. When you take into account that Banks’ girlfriend was once an exotic dancer who performed with the monkey in some of her acts, it makes the story unbelievable.
Take a look at the ‘monkey gate’ that sent social media into a frenzy on Monday evening.
I'm hearing a repot from a credible source that Texas Longhorns Special Teams Coach Jeff Banks' monkey allegedly attacked and seriously hurt a young Trick-or-Treater last night on Halloween.
The monkey's jaws apparently had to be pried off the small child.
— Tom Campbell (@thomasgcampbell) November 1, 2021
Just to review:
-Jeff Banks leaves wife and kids for stripper known as Pole Assassin (featured on Jerry Springer).
-Texas hires Jeff Banks as special teams coordinator
-Pole Assassin’s monkey (who performs with her) allegedly attacks a trick-or-treater last night
— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) November 2, 2021
Tom Herman : “i know some of my off the field decisions have reflected poorly on the University of Texas”
Jeff Banks : “hold my monkey”
— Matt ‘15 #AstrosWorldSeries ⚾️⚾️ (@Astro_Aggie15) November 2, 2021
— Rod Babers (@rodbabers) November 2, 2021
I refuse to believe life is not a simulation pic.twitter.com/EJJd3dCNOq
— 🍁𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 🤘🏻| hook em (@KooIAidChris) November 2, 2021
We will all remember where we were when the Jeff Banks’ stripper girlfriend’s monkey bit a kid story broke.
— Hunter Johnson (@BurnerLJohnson) November 2, 2021
— Ben Stevens (@BenScottStevens) November 2, 2021
I *hate* Twitter for making me Google "Jeff Banks monkey" in the middle of the Chiefs game.
— Kevin Flaherty (@KFlaherty247) November 2, 2021
— Message Board Geniuses (@BoardGeniuses) November 2, 2021
Jeff banks monkey has shown more defense than The Longhorns football team has in the past 3 weeks
— BrysonBuddhaBelly🖐🏻 (@BJFK94) November 2, 2021
Who among us hasn't dated a stripper with a monkey that allegedly bit a child at a haunted house. Cast the first stone.
— Will Baizer the Pole Assassin (@WillBaizer) November 2, 2021
“So my owner, Pole Assassin, and I were running a haunted house in UT Longhorns special teams coach Jeff Banks’s house when…” pic.twitter.com/0iXDoTh9ZS
— Charlie (@CharlieSwervin) November 2, 2021
That jeff banks story has gone viral! pic.twitter.com/tyYKqXr8kd
— Chris Bennett (CB) (@chrisgb002000) November 2, 2021
Wait ! Jeff Banks did what , with who ?!? And a monkey ?!?! pic.twitter.com/4rLGLjJp7Q
— Just Josh (@Jsheff001) November 2, 2021
Imagine being on Texas football communications staff right about now
— Kegan Reneau (@KeganReneau) November 2, 2021