It didn't take Mario Balotelli long to become one of the most hated footballers in England, so in recent weeks, his management team have been working the media to try and counterbalance the absurdly bad stories with absurdly good ones. There was the tale of Mario giving £1,000 to a homeless man outside a Manchester casino, then there was an interview with the Guardian where Mario assured us that he's actually shy and not a bad guy, and now, we have perhaps the most fantastic yarn yet: Mario v the school bully.
In a story that opens with the phrase, "Mario Balotelli should get a Heart of Gold," The Sun relays a series of events that sounds like the premise for a soft drink ad.
The striker questioned why the young lad was playing truant with his mum outside the club's Carrington training ground rather than attending school.
After the fan revealed that he was being bullied, Mario drove the youngster and his mum over to the school in question and demanded a meeting with the headteacher.
The Blues ace got the youngster to confess what had been happening and made him identify the culprit. The lads eventually shook hands before Mario got into his white Maserati and sped off.
The story ends with "a source" asserting how much Mario hates bullying and a plea for the bullied boy's mother to contact the paper. Which will probably result in Mario calling them up and talking in a comically high voice. At least, I hope it does.
Next week: Mario Balotelli saves a scientist from choking in a restaurant, pays for his meal, and then shows him how to cure cancer. Before speeding off in his Maserati.