April 15, 2010
Everyone moans when teams try to counteract the "beautiful football" of Barcelona or Arsenal by hunkering down in defense or only hoping to sneak a goal of their own by play long-ball, but this, my friends, is what anti-football really looks like.
As the YouTube description says, a German youth team had the moronic/genius idea to protect the ball off the kickoff by huddling the entire team around it in an attempt to plow forward in a mass of impenetrable humanity in a match against a Romanian side that took place in Spain for some reason. They called it "SCHILDKROTENTAKTIK" (I'm assuming it's intended to be screamed, making the all caps purposeful), or "turtle tactic."
Their scheme didn't work very long, with the referee blowing the whistle for what I hope was just general principle and giving possession to their opponents just after the managed to cross the midfield line.
These inventive young Germans will not be deterred, though. Next on the list: HERMITCRABTAKTIK! Fear it.