November 11, 2010
Jeez! What is wrong with you, Ibra?! ... I just scored a goal and I'm doing my "ball in the shirt that looks like I'm pregnant" routine and this guy has to come flying in to try and kick it. ... What a turdy thing to do. ... This is Robinho Time. ... Everyone has to respect Robinho Time or I will go back to Santos. ... Don't test me. ... Ow! Seriously, what is he doing? ... First he kicked Strasser in the back on the training ground, then he got in a fight with Onyewu, now he's kicking my ball baby while I'm trying to celebrate. ... He really is the worst. ... I'm not inviting him to Robinho Time ever again...
DID THIS GUY STEAL MY TOOTHBRUSH?!
Dun-na-na! It's time for the continuing adventures of Fernandooooo Gingerbread! Dun-na-na! ... "Save me, Fernando Gingerbread! My much older husband doesn't have magical freckles like you and he spends all his time working on businessman stuff and he smells like prunes!" .... "I will save you, Princess Pizzuti! Because I am Fernando Gingerbread and I have a unicorn named Lucas!" ... "Fernando Gingerbread, you're my hero!" ... "I know, Princess Pizzuti. But now I must ride off and continue my hunt for the evil Tom Hicks! Dream of me!" ... Dun-na-na! This has been another adventure of Fernandooooo Gingerbread! Dun-na-na!...
Time for the disgraces. ... First, it turns out I had malaria. That's a mosquito transmitted f***ing disgrace. ... Then, when everyone found out, Kalou made fun of me for, like, two hours and he kept calling me Cheryl Cole. That's an insensitive f***ing disgrace. ... Then, we lost to Liverpool. That's just an annoying f***ing disgrace. ... Then, no one has guessed that I'm doing a Mick Jagger impression. Kalou thought it was Simon Cowell. Kalou is a total f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Ray Wilkins was let go by Chelsea. That's a disrespectful f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those two bald referees who probably chew water cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...