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The Suns and Heat each lead their respective playoff series 2 games to none after Chris Paul and Devin Booker scored a combined 58 points in Phoenix’s win over the Mavericks, while four Heat players scored in double figures to beat the 76ers, exploiting Joel Embiid’s absence. Former Philly star Ben Simmons will undergo back surgery to treat an injury that prevented him from playing in a single game for Nets after being traded to Brooklyn in February. Plus, Diamondbacks pitcher Madison Bumgarner can add “strangest ejection” to his resume after a bizarre exchange, the likes of which we’ve never seen before, precipitated his ouster in the first inning of Arizona’s win over Miami.
- Show those numbers in the second half of Luka. You're wondering if he's starting to wear down a little bit as well.
- Look at the maneuvering by Paul. Look at the shot by Chris Paul!
- Hero, tracked by [? Theible. ?] Hesitation, maneuver to the cup! Just breathtaking!
JARED QUAY: Both number-one seeds in the NBA playoffs rolled on Wednesday, with the Suns jumping out to a 2-0 series lead over the Mavericks.
- Doncic steamrolls the defensive Johnson, the loose ball. Inhaled by Paul, to Bridges! What a pass! A royal finish!
JARED QUAY: And the Heat doing the same in Miami, with a big win over Philadelphia.
- Now, he's one of eight from 3 tonight. Butler, just an exquisite pass from Adebayo!
JARED QUAY: The 76ers are riding the struggle bus right now. And so is their former star. After sitting out an entire NBA regular season and playoff series, Nets forward Ben Simmons is undergoing back surgery today.
- After all that?
JARED QUAY: Yep. Two weeks after Simmons was supposedly going to return to the court, dude is going to have part of his herniated disk removed by a spine surgeon to relieve nerve pain. I mean, how did this guy pass the physical that was required when the Sixers traded him to Brooklyn?
- Gentlemen, I have a plan.
JARED QUAY: It really seems like some Dr. Evil [BLEEP] is going on in this situation. Or if not him, this guy.
- I'm Dr. Oz, and I approve this message.
JARED QUAY: Damn. Hey, good luck, though, Ben.
Out on the baseball diamond yesterday, we saw Madison Bumgarner lose his [BLEEP], and get ejected from the Diamondbacks game against the Marlins. At first glance, it looks like another case of moody hot-headed pitcher getting tossed. But trust me when I say, there's more to this than meets the eye. What led up to the ejection was the mandatory foreign substance handshake that got really awkward.
What in the HR violation hell was that? No wonder Bumgarner lost his [BLEEP]. That umpire was giving Madison a deep tissue massage while staring into his soul, which is highly inappropriate! There's a time and place for that, but it ain't in the baseball game, all right? Look, if you try to shoot your shot, you do it professionally with an email. I mean, if you're really, really desperate, you can do a DM. But right there in the game? Look, I know them eyes from anywhere, man. That's how I look at Beyonce.