The MLB trade deadline was chaotic with several deals being done at the 11th hour, including Juan Soto and Josh Bell being traded from the Nationals to the Padres. The Miami Dolphins were punished by the NFL after an investigation into claims of tampering and tanking and Tom Brady celebrates his 45th birthday with a hilarious gift from his Buccaneers teammate.
JARED QUAY: That was Juan Soto's last home run as a Washington National. I guess he was giving us the hint that he was going to San Diego because it looked like he was headed west. Go west, young man.
- Go west.
JARED QUAY: Yesterday's MLB trade deadline was wild. With moves being made all over the league, but Soto to San Diego was the blockbuster deal of the day. The Padres are going to have Soto, Fernando Tatis Jr, and Manny Machado in the same lineup.
- What? How is that fair?
JARED QUAY: Oh baseball ain't fair, Miguel. Haven't you seen Moneyball?
- It's an unfair game.
JARED QUAY: Soto won't hit free agency until 2024, so the Padres should have three legit chances to win a World Series, making San Diego relevant for the first time since.
- Ron Burgundy.
JARED QUAY: Not all beachside sports teams are feeling sunny at the moment, though. The Miami Dolphins are in trouble.
- Nothing, nothing.
JARED QUAY: The NFL is forcing the Fins to forfeit their first round draft pick in 2023, and a third round pick in 2024 after an investigation into alleged tampering and tanking. Dolphins' owner Stephen Ross is on punishment big time. He's suspended for the first six weeks of the upcoming season, indefinitely banned from participating in league meetings, and fined $1.5 million.
JARED QUAY: This stems from investigations into Brian Flores' claim that Ross offered him 100k for each Dolphins loss during the 2019 season, and that Miami was in contact with head coach Sean Payton and quarterback Tom Brady while they were employed by other teams.
- Can't do that.
JARED QUAY: Got to love that the Fins were looking to commit crimes against football with two dudes who already served hard time in Roger Goodell's jail for Bountygate and Deflategate. Speaking of Deflategate, today's Tom Brady's birthday. To celebrate, Leonard Fournette gifted Tampa Tom this insane GOAT cake.
I can't get over how lifelike that is. That goat actually looks like Tom. This version of him at least. The Buccaneers quarterback is 45 years old. That's only five years away from this.
- I'm 50. 50 years old.
JARED QUAY: Defenses are going to be committing elder abuse this season, no doubt about it. The Ravens are playing the Bucs on October 27th, and if my bigger brother Calais Campbell sacks Tom, does he have to apologize after it? I mean, hell, Calais is old as hell too, so this is kind of like old people battling it out. I mean, at that point, if they both fall, you're going to take them back to the hospital either way, man. This gonna be like, hey, y'all all right, man. Y'all need any Icy Hot? Robitussin?