Hey everyone, we here at Yahoo Sports are doing real power rankings for teams Nos. 1-31. Here they are, based on only how I am feeling about these teams, meaning you can’t tell me I’m wrong because these are my feelings and feelings can’t be wrong. Please enjoy the Power Feelings.
31. Vancouver Canucks (Last week: 30)
30. Philadelphia Flyers (LW: 31)
This’ll be tomorrow’s take, but these guys, they’re not good and they’re not gonna get much better adding the guy whose big career accomplishment is, “Got the Wild out of the first round twice in nine years.”
Like, honestly, the hardest thing for the Flyers to do this summer shouldn’t have been “find a league-average goalie” but here we are, folks.
29. New York Rangers (LW: 25)
28. St. Louis Blues (LW: 26)
27. Los Angeles Kings (LW: 28)
26. Chicago (LW: 20)
I’m honestly waiting for a sell-off to begin in earnest here. These guys might have entered the season with unreasonable expectations, but they’re not even living up to my own personal, significantly lower expectations.
Case in point: Not only did they go 0-fer in four games last week, but they got outshot by 47 in those games. That’s a bad number to be outshot by in like seven games.
25. Ottawa Senators (LW: 29)
Not a good team and a middling week but I really have to tip your hat to the beatdown they put on a good (on paper???????????) Sharks team in Erik Karlsson’s “homecoming” game.
I told my friend before it started that Karlsson was gonna have nine points but the joke was on him and me because Ottawa absolutely crushed them. Fun.
I may not like it, but I have to respect it.
24. Detroit Red Wings (LW: 24)
23. Anaheim Ducks (LW: 27)
Stop me if you’ve heard this before but these guys went 4-0 because John Gibson is going off again. I can’t tell you how hard he’d have to screw up to not be in my Vezina top-three at the end of the year.
But I saw something about how they’re finding their “identity” these days. Yeah. Nine goals against on 145 shots, and the team scored 14 on 101. Their “identity” is a lot like the 2013 Leafs’.
22. New York Islanders (LW: 19)
21. New Jersey Devils (LW: 17)
20. Florida Panthers (LW: 21)
I know the Panthers aren’t living up to expectations, but Dwyane Wade didn’t have to knee Sasha Barkov in the face in the middle of a Heat game.
19. Montreal Canadiens (LW: 16)
Weird that these guys can’t score all of a sudden. No way to see it coming. As an overly credulous Canadian media member, I thought Max Domi was gonna be point-a-game this year! :(((((((((((((((
18. Edmonton Oilers (LW: 23)
17. Arizona Coyotes (LW: 22)
In my opinion if they only give up four goals a week for the rest of the season, these guys are gonna be in good shape.
16. Dallas Stars (LW: 18)
15. Pittsburgh Penguins (LW: 14)
Well sure they’re not that good, but this Pettersson guy I’ve never heard of is gonna tighten up that defense in front of Matt Murray. For Sure.
14. Minnesota Wild (LW: 10)
This is something to monitor but I bet these guys aren’t as good as their run a few weeks ago suggested. Hmm. Hmmmmm.
13. Carolina Hurricanes (LW: 15)
12. Washington Capitals (LW: 11)
How about: “Wom Tilson.” Pretty good.
11. Columbus Blue Jackets (LW: 12)
10. Vegas Golden Knights (LW: 13)
It’s very funny to me that they’re not outshooting everyone by 50 a night anymore, but they’re winning way more games. Sacrificing quantity for quality works when you’re still putting up 30-plus shots a night, I guess.
9. San Jose Sharks (LW: 6)
I’m gonna give these guys until the All-Star break before I pull the chute on thinking they’re any good. That looks to be about seven weeks from now. You’re on the clock, fellas.
8. Buffalo Sabres (LW: 8)
7. Boston Bruins (LW: 5)
Increasingly seeing suggestions from the local media that the Bruins need to add a crash-and-bang puncher-guy if they want to be successful. How about if, instead, they just find a way to keep Patrice Bergeron, Zdeno Chara, Charlie McAvoy, Brandon Carlo, etc. off the IR?
The fact that they have as many standings points as they do with five of their planned top six defenders having played 18 games or fewer this year tells you how good this team is. And these clowns think reacquiring Adam McQuaid is gonna sort it out? Come on man.
Like, Steven Kampfer has played 15 games for the BOSTON BRUINS in the year TWO THOUSAND EIGHTEEN. Is there one of those fungi that infests your brain in the ceilings on the ninth floor of TD Garden?
Local media: “Gotta get tougher! Trade for Lucic! See if they’ll let you give him an even bigger cap hit than he already has!”
It’s easier to get these kinds of takes published by a Boston media outlet than it was to get a mortgage in 2004.
6. Winnipeg Jets (LW: 7)
5. Colorado Avalanche (LW: 9)
Y’know it’s obviously a thing where their top line and power play are just going so far in the right direction that they’re dragging an otherwise-okay team to great results.
But unlike the Devils, whose one-line success got them into the playoffs last year and they’re back to being terrible, it seems like MacKinnon and Rantanen are just gonna score like this forever. Which, you gotta just accept that at this point and say, “They’re a one-line team that can be a one-line team basically forever.” Good for them.
4. Calgary Flames (LW: 3)
Sucks when you go 2-0-1 in a week, crush your opponents in SOG, and also score almost 60 percent of the goals, but drop a spot because the three teams above you are easily the best teams in the league.
But that’s life!
3. Nashville Predators (LW: 1)
Sucks, also, when you go 1-2-0 and drop out of a top-two spot for what I’m pretty sure is the first time all year (I can’t be bothered look it up) because the other two teams are really good and keep winning a ton of games.
2. Toronto Maple Leafs (LW: 4)
Obviously the Leafs aren’t the second-best team in the league (that defense is a problem, folks!) but they went 3-0 and just added a guy who is easily a top-30 winger on a nice little long-term deal.
Which, if you ask me, that’s pretty good. If these guys can free up some cap space this season or add a defenseman somehow, even as a rental, look out.
1. Tampa Bay Lightning (LW: 2)
They outshot their opponents by 40 in three games. Come on.
(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)