Play SpongeBob's 'Sweet Victory' at the Super Bowl and be legends, NFL

Yahoo Sports

Fewer and fewer cultural moments bind us together anymore. Generations past had Johnny Carson’s ill-fated axe toss segment, the series finale of “M*A*S*H” and Ross’ accidental wedding-day confession on “Friends.” Now? We’ve been demographically dissected and segmented to the point that we’ve got no common cultural touchstones … none, that is, except “Sweet Victory.”

For those few unaware: “Sweet Victory” is the high point of the long-running “SpongeBob Squarepants” animated series — come on, don’t act like you haven’t heard of it — and a brilliant ’80s-style anthem in its own right. Since SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg died last week, there’s been a push underway to play “Sweet Victory” at the Super Bowl.

Why? Just listen:

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Come on! That’s brilliance in 90 seconds right there. Powerful and transcendent, it’s like the soundtrack to the best 1980s teen film never made. (Bonus points if you can identify the field, league and game where the live football shots are from.) In these painful and divided times, when it seems like we’re all at one another’s throats every minute of every day, can’t we come together and sing a song that celebrates nothing more than, well … sweet victory?

More than 710,000 fans have signed a petition calling for the song to be played during the halftime show. Come on! Three quarters of a million people can’t be wrong, can they? (Don’t answer that.)

As it currently stands, the NFL has hired Maroon 5 to play the Super Bowl Halftime Show. Granted, Maroon 5 is the most conservative entertainment option possible, the musical equivalent of a handoff to set up a field goal. But even so, they could sneak in a few bars of this uplifting bit of inspiration, right?

Imagine a full marching band playing the opening theme. The solitary piano. The synth drums. The columns of pyrotechnics. Hell, say what you will about Maroon 5, singer Adam Levine could absolutely kill with this song. Heck, CBS, which is broadcasting the game, and Nickelodeon, which owns the show, are corporate siblings. It’s all right there for the taking, NFL!

You want to solidify your standing atop the cultural heap for another generation, NFL? Play “Sweet Victory” at the Super Bowl. Do it and be legends.

SpongeBob at the Super Bowl? (via Nickelodeon)
SpongeBob at the Super Bowl? (via Nickelodeon)

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Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.

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