Robinson Cano signs 10-year, $240 million contract

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The 10-year, $240 million contract Robinson Cano signed with the Seattle Mariners on Friday is going to be a complete disaster, and anyone who says otherwise is ignoring history, aging curves and all other matters of rational thought. By now, everyone in baseball, down to the most willfully ignorant people, understand that free agents are like fruit. Early on, at their ripest, they can be wondrous and worth every penny. Then they start to get soft, and the wrinkles come, and the mold, and then my God what is that awful monstrosity.

FILE - In this Aug. 6, 2012 file photo, New York Yankees' Curtis Granderson celebrates in the dugout after scoring on a double by Robinson Cano in the fifth inning of a baseball game against the Detroit Tigers, in Detroit. A person familiar with the situation says free-agent outfielder Granderson and the New York Mets have agreed to a $60 million, four-year contract. The person spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity Friday, Dec. 6, 2013, because the deal was pending a physical and no announcement had been made. (AP Photo/Duane Burleson, File)
FILE - In this Aug. 6, 2012 file photo, New York Yankees' Curtis Granderson celebrates in the dugout after scoring on a double by Robinson Cano in the fifth inning of a baseball game against the Detroit Tigers, in Detroit. A person familiar with the situation says free-agent outfielder Granderson and the New York Mets have agreed to a $60 million, four-year contract. The person spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity Friday, Dec. 6, 2013, because the deal was pending a physical and no announcement had been made. (AP Photo/Duane Burleson, File)
FILE - In this Aug. 6, 2012 file photo, New York Yankees' Curtis Granderson celebrates in the dugout after scoring on a double by Robinson Cano in the fifth inning of a baseball game against the Detroit Tigers, in Detroit. A person familiar with the situation says free-agent outfielder Granderson and the New York Mets have agreed to a $60 million, four-year contract. The person spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity Friday, Dec. 6, 2013, because the deal was pending a physical and no announcement had been made. (AP Photo/Duane Burleson, File)
FILE - In this Oct. 3, 2012 file photo, New York Yankees' Robinson Cano is greeted at the dugout steps after hitting a fifth-inning, two-run home run against the Boston Red Sox during their baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York. The Seattle Mariners say that cannot confirm any details of a potential deal with free agent second baseman Robinson Cano. The team said Friday morning, Dec. 6, 2013, they will announce if an agreement is "completed and finalized" with the Yankees star. The statement came in response to an ESPN report Friday morning that Cano and the Mariners had reached agreement on a $240 million, 10-year contract pending a physical. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens, File)
FILE - In this Oct. 3, 2012 file photo, New York Yankees' Robinson Cano is greeted at the dugout steps after hitting a fifth-inning, two-run home run against the Boston Red Sox during their baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York. The Seattle Mariners say that cannot confirm any details of a potential deal with free agent second baseman Robinson Cano. The team said Friday morning, Dec. 6, 2013, they will announce if an agreement is "completed and finalized" with the Yankees star. The statement came in response to an ESPN report Friday morning that Cano and the Mariners had reached agreement on a $240 million, 10-year contract pending a physical. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens, File)
FILE - In this Oct. 3, 2012 file photo, New York Yankees' Robinson Cano is greeted at the dugout steps after hitting a fifth-inning, two-run home run against the Boston Red Sox during their baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York. The Seattle Mariners say that cannot confirm any details of a potential deal with free agent second baseman Robinson Cano. The team said Friday morning, Dec. 6, 2013, they will announce if an agreement is "completed and finalized" with the Yankees star. The statement came in response to an ESPN report Friday morning that Cano and the Mariners had reached agreement on a $240 million, 10-year contract pending a physical. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens, File)
Dominican Republic baseball players, from left, Robinson Cano, Hanley Ramirez and Jose Reyes ride atop a truck during the 2013 World Baseball Classic victory celebration in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Thursday, Nov. 28, 2013. The Dominican Republic team won the third edition of the World Baseball Classic in March, finishing unbeaten in eight games. (AP Photo/Manuel Diaz)
Dominican Republic baseball players, from left, Robinson Cano, Hanley Ramirez and Jose Reyes ride atop a truck during the 2013 World Baseball Classic victory celebration in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Thursday, Nov. 28, 2013. The Dominican Republic team won the third edition of the World Baseball Classic in March, finishing unbeaten in eight games
Dominican Republic baseball players, from left, Robinson Cano, Hanley Ramirez and Jose Reyes ride atop a truck during the 2013 World Baseball Classic victory celebration in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Thursday, Nov. 28, 2013. The Dominican Republic team won the third edition of the World Baseball Classic in March, finishing unbeaten in eight games. (AP Photo/Manuel Diaz)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 19: New York Yankee Robinson Cano and actress/singer Adrienne Bailon attend the Tequila Baron Launch Party at Butter Restaurant on November 19, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Tequila Baron)
Tequila Baron Launch Party
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 19: New York Yankee Robinson Cano and actress/singer Adrienne Bailon attend the Tequila Baron Launch Party at Butter Restaurant on November 19, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Tequila Baron)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 19: New York Yankee Robinson Cano attends the Tequila Baron Launch Party at Butter Restaurant on November 19, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Tequila Baron)
Tequila Baron Launch Party
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 19: New York Yankee Robinson Cano attends the Tequila Baron Launch Party at Butter Restaurant on November 19, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Tequila Baron)
HOUSTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 28: Mariano Rivera #42 and Robinson Cano #24 of the New York Yankees walk on the field before the game against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park on September 28, 2013 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
New York Yankees v Houston Astros
HOUSTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 28: Mariano Rivera #42 and Robinson Cano #24 of the New York Yankees walk on the field before the game against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park on September 28, 2013 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
HOUSTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 27: Robinson Cano #24 of the New York Yankees works out on the field before the game against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park on September 27, 2013 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
New York Yankees v Houston Astros
HOUSTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 27: Robinson Cano #24 of the New York Yankees works out on the field before the game against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park on September 27, 2013 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
New York Yankees' Robinson Cano looks toward the dugout during the eighth inning of the Yankees' 8-3 loss to the Tampa Bay Rays in a baseball game Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2013, in New York. The Cleveland Indians' win over the Chicago White Sox on Wednesday night knocked the Yankees out of the playoff race. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)
Yankees lose to Rays 8-3 and miss playoffs
New York Yankees' Robinson Cano looks toward the dugout during the eighth inning of the Yankees' 8-3 loss to the Tampa Bay Rays in a baseball game Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2013, in New York. The Cleveland Indians' win over the Chicago White Sox on Wednesday night knocked the Yankees out of the playoff race. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)
San Francisco Giants catcher Hector Sanchez tags out New York Yankees runner Robinson Cano (R) at home plate in the eighth inning of their MLB Interleague game at Yankee Stadium in New York, September 22, 2013. REUTERS/POOL/Elsa (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT BASEBALL)
San Francisco Giants Hector Sanchez tags out New York Yankees Robinson Cano in MLB game in New York
San Francisco Giants catcher Hector Sanchez tags out New York Yankees runner Robinson Cano (R) at home plate in the eighth inning of their MLB Interleague game at Yankee Stadium in New York, September 22, 2013. REUTERS/POOL/Elsa (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT BASEBALL)

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