Women Are Sharing Things They Won't Do For A Guy Unless They're Dating, And As Someone Who's Terrible At Establishing Boundaries, I Needed This
Boundaries in relationships are important, but have you ever set a boundary with someone before things get serious?
Reddit user u/yangchu981 recently asked, "What are things you’d do as a girlfriend that you wouldn’t do if you’re just dating or before defining the relationship?"
1."Go to family holidays or just meet their family in general. I'd maybe not even meet friends before you’re officially dating."
2."I wouldn't do anything that more than slightly inconveniences me. If it's casual, then so is my effort."
3."Buy them expensive things."
4."Spicy bedroom stuff definitely involves major feelings or the potential to catch feels. I did it before. Won’t do it again. Also, it’s way hotter slowly falling into that type of stuff in a secure loving relationship."
5."If we were not officially in a relationship, I would not come to them in my time of emotional need or if there was a crisis basically. I'm not going to lean on someone in my time of need unless I know that they are strong enough to support me first."
6."Cook for them. I think cooking is one of the most intimate things you can do for a loved one. No way in hell I would put effort to create something delicious for a fuck boy or some situation-ship."
7."Text 'good morning' and 'good night.'"
8."I wouldn't become official with anyone when I hadn't met their family and they'd be offered the same opportunity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not introducing anyone to them! Just those who we are talking to about moving our relationship forward and becoming official, etc. For me, it's an experience thing: Those partners who've screwed me around were often putting barriers in between our friends / family / social lives, and looking back, I realize the way they behave would be frowned upon by them."
9."Not use condoms."
10."Let them see my bedroom. It's just a standard bedroom but it is MY SPACE. Aliens not allowed."
11."Fart."
12."Anything that would permanently alter my day-to-day or other personal relationships (siblings, friends, parents, kids). So no loaning money, no holidays, no meeting kids for at least six months of serious dating. Same for family. No moving in together before a year, no getting them a job where I work, etc."
13."Let someone stay overnight."
14."Share my food. We would have to be strong in our relationship for me to let you eat from my plate and touch my food."
15."And frankly, if it's only dating and not an actual relationship, I'll put in some effort to talk. And I am a very honest person so I'll show interest and share my feelings, but I will NOT divulge personal information or talk about past trauma. I need to feel safe with someone before being able to truly open up about my past."
16."Have them meet my family and come to family events."
17."Be loyal and exclusive to them. I’m not loyal unless there’s a commitment and I know they’re loyal to me. I don’t stay up texting them after 12 a.m. until it’s official. I’m not going to ruin my sleep schedule for a guy who doesn’t even know if he wants to actually be with me. Ugh, never again."
18."Pick up or drop off someone at the airport."
19."If I'm not officially dating the person, I assume we'll both keep our options open. In a mono relationship, that's a no-go"
20."Make even small sacrifices like canceling plans for them, missing sleep, letting them make you late to somewhere important you need to be."
21."Let them see me when I'm sick or take care of them when they're sick."
