As the bride-to-be, inviting everyone in your half of the bridal party to your bachelorette celebration is a must. Ultimately, though, if you decide to host a destination pre-wedding party, you should be prepared for a few declines. And if you're a bridesmaid who has been invited to a far-flung bachelorette party—hosted in Las Vegas, Nashville, or Charleston, perhaps—and are worried you might not be able to make it? Try not to stress: Faraway events come with a different set of rules. Whatever camp you are in—bridesmaid or bride—it's important to remember that it is okay if an attendant truly can't make it. Ahead, discover a few reasons why a 'maid might RSVP "no" to a destination bachelorette party.
If you're a bride, it's important to remember that if you decide to host a destination bachelorette party, you are asking everyone involved to clear their work schedules and social calendars. For some attendants, this just isn't possible—perhaps they have a career-defining conference to attend, a major family wedding to take part in, or a job that simply doesn't allow for that specific week or weekend off. Try to be mindful of this—and be understanding if a bridesmaid has to send her regrets (it's likely very difficult for her to do so!). And if you really want everyone to be there? Consider planning your bachelorette party closer to home.
When compared to local events, destination bachelorette parties often require more spending—consider the total cost of flights, lodging, and excursions (and the fact that the attendants typically cover the brides' portion), and you're looking at a relatively high number. If you're a bridesmaid, it's important to consult your budget—and while saving up for this type of trip might be possible, it isn't always feasible for everyone to attend. If you're the bride, you should be cognizant of that fact—and remember that your dear friend is already spending a sizable amount on her dress, hair, makeup, and any pre- or day-of wedding gifts.
While many bridesmaids have valid reasons for declining a destination bachelorette party, there are some red flags to watch out for. Does this person seem uninterested in being included in anything wedding related? Do they to have a sour attitude about your pre-wedding and day-of plans? If so, it may be time to take stock: Is this really someone that you want standing alongside you on your big day? Ultimately, though, their disinterest probably isn't malicious: Consider having a conversation with your bridesmaid to see how they are feeling about being in your wedding. They might have too much going on personally, professionally, or both—and this might be a good time to check in and talk about your options, which could be a relief for both of you.