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At this point, we're fairly certain that Alexander Semin of the Washington Capitals is the single-most fascinating person in hockey; provided he actually decides to speak, and provided the interview is in Russian.

Lost in all the hoopla over his comments about Sidney Crosby earlier this year were other interesting parts of his chat with Puck Daddy; like the virtues of vodka over whiskey and driving "160" while racing against Alexander Ovechkin.

The great Tuvanhillbilly has discovered an interview Semin did with Elena Antonova of Cosmopolitan magazine in Russia -- "Cosmo Siberia," believe it or not -- that published over there back in October. There's plenty of juicy stuff about his life, his hockey career and his likes and dislikes.

But for our purposes, we're going to feature Semin on women.

From Tuvanhillbilly's translation of the original Russian article, we begin with Semin's interaction with Americans:

C: How do you spend your time when you are not training? Have you met any Americans?

A: I've met a few, but the girls are nicer in Russia. I go out with my friends to the clubs, restaurants, bars and movies. Nothing special, I just spend time like everybody else.

Now, before you get all jingoistic about Semin's views of American girls, please keep in mind that Buffalo's own Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks has also extolled the virtues of Russian babes: "If you go there, you'll see the hottest chicks you'll ever see. It's not a great area but the girls down there, they're pretty good."

Back to Semin. In this passage, he provides some details about what he looks for in a woman. Take notes, DC-area Puck Bunnies ... and try not to take offense, women's hockey players:

C: What kind of girl would immediately draws your attention?

A: If we are talking about outward appearances...I'll hang out with blondes and brunettes. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting a redhead yet. (Laughs.) What is important to me is what type of character they have-what's hidden behind the external façade. Of course it is nice when the girl is beautiful, but you can be beautiful and foolish. I'll take someone with whom I can carry on a conversation and enjoy being with. A lot of people have this stereotype that hockey or soccer players' girlfriends have to be models. I disagree. Maybe during Fetisov's time hockey players married models, but things were different then. Athletes never budged from the national teams, and in reality they just never had any time to meet any girls. But now we have more freedom and can choose whom we want to hang out with.

C: What do you think about girl's hockey?

A: There is something wrong with that. It's not women's work.

C: So what is women's work? A skillet and vacuum cleaner?

A: Well why do you say that? Ladies can even do what you do-give interviews!

So, in summary: You don't have to be model, but it helps if you look like one, even if you're foolish. But please don't be a foolish model-lookin' girl who plays hockey because that's not women's work -- unlike, say, doing Q&A's for Cosmo Siberia.

Please read the full interview at Tuvanhillbilly, if only for the part in which Semin talks about having waking nightmares about a puck knocking out all of his teeth.

We could spend the rest of our lives doing nothing but drinking beer, eating White Castle, watching classic "Simpson's" reruns and reading Alexander Semin interviews.

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