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This rather disturbing (and hilarious) Alexander Ovechkin clip was unearthed by Tuvanhillbilly and sent to us by Japers' Rink. It appears to be from some sort of Russian comedy show (we think) in which Ovechkin openly asks for ... well, a wife. Or a woman who, in his words, would make him "fall on my knees and say, 'You are my temple of Poetry.'" Oh, one of those.

The video also involves a tour of Ovie's house in the D.C. area, his vow to father no more than 10 children, his frolicking under a giant pink elephant and at least one midget.

Also, Ovechkin gives out all but two digits of his cell phone number in order for his future wife to contact him ... or for someone else to call him at 2:30 a.m. pretending to be Danny Briere.

We usually don't like to dedicate multiple posts to the same subject on the same morning. But it's not our fault Ovechkin decided to endorse the deification of Michael Phelps and show his "Soviet Red" underwear on Russian television. We report ... you attempt to get these images unburned from your memory.

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