November 30, 2010
Movember 2010 didn't produce any Lanny McDonald follicle miracles (like above), or even anything approaching vintage Magnum P.I. Those classics take time to cultivate; the NHL players who participated in the mustache-sprouting campaign to raise awareness and funds for men's health issues had merely a month to sculpt their upper-lip masterpieces.
Some players had the advantage of significant facial growth before Nov. 1; merely shaving off a beard to transform it into a 'stache. Some players reached for performance enhancing substances like "Just For Men"; not naming names, but by "some" we mean certain leading scorers on Tampa Bay ...
As Movember comes to a close, some of these efforts deserve their time in the spotlight before the razors are sharpened; here are the 10 greatest, oddest and most fascinating Movember mustaches in the NHL this season.
But he's not in our top 10. These guys are, with before-and-after photos for comparison's sake:
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
In that image on the right, he also sort of looks like Jimmy's sniper friend with the half-face from "Boardwalk Empire."
The Oilers have a few impressive 'staches this Movember, but we'll give the nod to Gagner for transforming himself into David Arquette. Said reader Bevan M.: "Sam Gagner has a beauty of a mustache would love to see what that kid could accomplish with a nice post-season run."
It's not the most substantial mustache, but perhaps one of the most fitting ones for a player who competes on the edge. Looch looks like the guy who don't want your sister to date but whose car you admire greatly. Makes the list for inspiring Days of Y'Orr's Mustaches Mayhem post featuring Lucic with different looks.
7. Niclas Walin, San Jose Sharks
A player who had a bit of an advantage already being scruffy in the mug, but there's no denying the 1970s rec room carpet appeal of Walin's foliage.
On the left is Chris Mason, a focused and effective goaltender for Atlanta. On the right is Chaz Mason, his sinister alter ego who pours sugar in your gas tank and always takes your lunch money. Big jerk.
First, let's admit that Price's 'stache is pretty awesome. But he makes this list based on the fact that he's 8-4 with three shutouts in Movember. This [expletive] has powers, yo.
Mike Green(notes) and Karl Alzner(notes) have impressive facial hair for the Capitals, but the nod goes to their hulking defenseman. Not only because he inspires poetry from Dan Steinberg, but because nothing frames a hockey smile better than handlebars.
In which we all witness Brent Burns' slow, Wolfman-like transformation into a roadie for Motorhead. Wow, is that creepy; but clearly the Wild have found their bobblehead for Satanic Cult Night at Xcel.
A well-maintained beard turned into an impressive 'stache for the Lightning forward. If they ever remake "Cannonball Run," we want Ryan Malone, this mustache, Matthew McConaughey and two trucker hats inside of a tow truck.
Here's a feature on the Bolts' Movember efforts, including 'Stache-kos:
And finally ...
So powerful is the Clutterbuck mustache that it transforms from angry state trooper to extra from "There Will Be Blood" in a matter of days. But obviously, he takes the top spot here because no other player on this list has a Twitter feed for his mustache and has had his mustache interviewed by NHL.com:
Thanks to everyone who chimed in with their favorites on Twitter Monday night. And please support the Movember effort any way you can.