We've been waiting for someone to do a proper exit interview with Sean Avery after the NHL's preeminent pest left the New York Rangers to sign with the Dallas Stars. Joe O'Connor of the National Post as obliged, conducting a way-too-serious interview that didn't feature a single question about the uncomfortable amount of pelvic thrusting in Avery's daily workout.
NP: This is a serious question: Dallas, Texas, the land of mega-churches, debutante balls, women with big hair and cowboy boots. How is Sean Avery supposed to fit in?
SA: I've spent some time there, and I'd have to disagree with you. Dallas, and not just Dallas but Texas, has a very interesting arts scene, with towns like Austin. And Dallas is quite a wealthy area - and everybody's into clothes. It is not New York, but it's not me going somewhere I'll wake up feeling sorry to be in. It's Texas. There's got to be some cool people in Texas. And the team's great.
NP: Did your co-workers' throw you a going-back-to-hockey party at the end of the internship?
SA: They are too busy for that. But I had random secret admirers sending me gifts over the four-week period.
NP: Like what?
SA: Like black nail polish, ties, whisky and skin products.
NP: Do you have a morning beauty routine?
SA: I like to shower a lot. I wear Old Spice. I don't wear cologne. I like to be as manly as possible because sometimes my clothes are a little bit feminine. You got to balance it out.
Read the full interview here, along with Avery's thoughts on designer shoes. Also, in case you missed it, Stars captain Brenden Morrow and winger Steve Ott explained how they despised Avery in the past but will accept him as a teammate with open minds. From Morrow: "I've made comments in the past about my dislike for him, but that's probably a feather in his cap ... He did his job."
As for Avery: We can vouch that Austin is one of the coolest cities in America. But it's 195 miles from Dallas. So get used to nightlife in Big D; hey, if Dallas.com can proclaim that "there's no place like Texas when it comes to topless clubs, and Dallas takes it to new heights," we think it bodes well for the next four years.