January 13, 2011
The new NHL All-Star Game format will make for strange bedfellows. The Fantasy Draft tosses out conference affiliation in favor of a pick-up hockey vibe. Like in the old North America vs. The World format, we'll see teammates vs. teammates and friends vs. friends ... and, potentially, brother vs. brother.
Henrik Sedin(notes) and Daniel Sedin(notes), the twin terrors of the first-place Vancouver Canucks, could very well end up on opposite teams. If this draft is infused with the kind of jocularity that Brendan Shanahan's(notes) striving for, we fully expect one twin to be drafted right after the other for the comedy of the moment.
If one Sedin is wearing red and the other is wearing blue for the 2011 NHL All-Star Game on Jan. 30 in Raleigh, it'll be the rare occasion in which one twin will compete head-to-head against the other. So rare, in fact, that we believe it's an opportune time to make a little history:
The Sedin twins should drop the gloves and fight in the All-Star game.
Here's why ...
We mentioned this idea on the Kurtenblog Radio show Wednesday night, and it went over like Lingonberry juice at a Swedish picnic. Which is to say, "well."
Dan Rosen of NHL.com recently spoke with the Sedins about their fighting prowess and, more to the point, who would win if they scrapped:
NHL.com: Henrik, who wins in a fight?
"Oh, that'd be tough. We've never fought. I might win. It would be close, but I'm like two pounds heavier so I might win on that one."
NHL.com: Daniel, do you agree?
"He would. He never gives up, and that's the thing. I could have him, almost choking him to death, but he would never give up."
And with that, they made a match: Henrik as the heavyweight champ and Daniel as the scrappy underdog who doesn't give himself a chance. It's like straight out of a Rocky movie, or the Swedish equivalent thereof.
There are four primary reasons we'd like to see Sedin vs. Sedin in the All-Star game:
1. Our Gladiator Arena Bloodlust.
The All-Star game, despite the Fantasy Draft buzz, remains a pale imitation of the gritty product we know and (usually) love as NHL hockey. It's the sort of game for which Mike Milbury would make his wrist go limp as he calls it "SissyMaryNambyPampyWussification."
We're sure someone will correct us on this, but to our knowledge there has never been a fight in the NHL All-Star Game. Neither Sedin has ever had a fight, either. The shock and awe of these things happening in the same scrap would make Milbury throw his shoe on the ice in approval. Or, perhaps, at Pierre McGuire. Either way: WIN.
2. That They'll Remove Their Jerseys Before the Fight, Thus Confusing the Ever-Loving Crap Out of The Announcers.
"A left by Daniel ... no, wait, that's Henrik ... upper cut ... wait, no, that's Dan ... aw, [expletive] this [expletive] twin [expletive]."
3. The Tomax and Xamot Theory.
As you may know, here at Puck Daddy we have a theory that when one Sedin is hurt the other Sedin feels pain; much like the twins Tomax and Xamot in the old G.I. Joe series. So we imagine that a fight between the Sedins would involve both of them self-inflicting damage to make the other feel pain: Two guys standing at center ice, punching themselves in the face like Ed Norton in "Fight Club." There's really only one way to test this theory.
4. Finally There Can Be Only One Alpha Sedin.
Henrik has a scoring title, a Hart Trophy and the captaincy. Daniel has 86 more career goals and a healthy amount of time spent in his brother's shadow lately. This thing would be like the Subway Series: The Mets with a chance to finally get one over on their more successful baseball brothers, and the Yankees with a chance to put a boot on their necks from the throne.
• • •
So for those reasons and so many more, we ask ... nay, demand a fight between the Sedins at the NHL All-Star Game should they end up on opposite teams.
Nothing vicious, nothing dangerous; just a scrap after which we'll be able to tell them apart by the one Sedin standing over his brother in pugilistic glory.