Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
The New York Islanders are currently last in the NHL with 51 points, four points worse than the Tampa Bay Lightning. They've shown a stubborn inability to throw their season like an embarrassment on skates should, winning four of their last five games.
Finish last, and there's a 48.2-percent chance you'll win the NHL Draft Lottery for the No. 1 pick; finish 29th in the League, and that percentage becomes 18.8 percent.
What we're getting at, of course, is that this Islanders fan spotted at the Nassau Coliseum on Saturday (H/T to Puck Buddy Paul Christensen) is sporting a Jersey Foul of incredible hubris and total indignation to the Hockey Gods. Because no one ever loses a draft lottery, right? Wait, it happened two years ago? Oh.
But who knows, right? Maybe this fan has precognitive abilities. At least John Tavares has set the record straight and wouldn't Lindros his way out of playing for the Islanders. And look on the bright side: If things don't work out, all you need are the H, D, M and N for an Islanders Viktor Hedman jersey. Although we're guessing a defenseman isn't wearing No. 91.
Coming up: Crosby Sucks, Malkin Sucks, Gretzky fouls and ... uh, Mrs. Semin.
Moving on ...
These are the jerseys of Washington Capitals fans Steve and Jake Angeline. The Sidney Crosby sweater has been rocked at the Verizon Center for some time; the Evgeni Malkin tribute made its debut during the Pittsburgh Penguins' visit to D.C. on Sunday.
We actually had a video interview with them defending the sweaters that unfortunately was gobbled up by a corrupted file; we can tell you that they have a reverence for Malkin, but that he "sucks" because he's a Penguin. And that a lady in their lives put the kibosh on the word "swallows" being introduced on the jerseys. Thankfully. (H/T to our friend Zack for the images.)
One of these Montreal Canadiens jerseys is hard to see, but it appears we have "Your Mom" No. 69 jerseys in two different languages. Puck Buddy John G. explains:
The guy to the right is wearing a No. 69 "TA MERE" jersey, although it isn't clearly visible. Hopefully, we can get dispatch some kind of boarder patrol unit to keep these type of goons north of the boarder if the Habs make the postseason tournament this year.
There really aren't enough bilingual Jersey Fouls. You can get away with so much more, like Spanish radio shock jocks do with the FCC.
You know, the Chicago Blackhawks jersey says Sasquatch, but we're pretty sure it's just a guy in an ape costume walking funny.
This actually might be a foul by virtue of the fact that it's not an Avalanche jersey. Or a Bruins sweater with Chara's number.
Really, the best kind of Toronto Maple Leafs fan is the delusional kind. "No, seriously, we traded Gary Leeman and 25 draft picks for him and won four Cups. You really don't remember any of this?"
Now, here's the thing: The NHL has mandated the League-wide retirement of Wayne Gretzky's No. 99. No Leafs player can ever wear the number. So is this technically a Jersey Foul? And, by virtue of this logic, would a Jackie Robinson jersey for any Major League Baseball team be a Jersey Foul?
Thanks to Puck Buddy Clinton Molnar for the image.
Speaking of Gretzky, a virtual submission from Andy Bourne. The Great One obviously never played for the Phoenix Coyotes, but he's as vital a member of that organization as anyone. So can you honor your famous coach with his name and number on the back of the sweater that he coaches? Example: Mark Messier gets hired in, say, Atlanta. Is a Thrashers No. 11 Messier jersey foul city?
Finally, in the grand tradition of Mrs. Crosby comes Mrs. Alexander Semin -- a tribute to a beloved player for the Washington Capitals, and a surefire way to score free drinks at the pub after the game. Thanks to Puck Buddy Brian C. for the image.