January 28, 2009
Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
Once again, we're faced with an existential crisis in our exploration of hockey sweater triumphs and tragedies: Can a single sweater contain so many Jersey Fouls that it somehow transcends our wicked world and becomes something beautiful?
We met this gentleman at the NHL All-Star Game in Montreal. He hand-stitched two Los Angeles Kings jerseys together from different eras, and logos aren't even close to lining up. On the back is what we assume is his own name with Marcel Dionne's retired number, keeping in mind that Dionne never wore the silver and black of the Gretzky Kings.
As you can see, he also collects patches from every major hockey event he attends, from the Frozen Four to the Stanley Cup finals, and is slowly entombing himself in them.
(An aside: We've never discusses patches in our Jersey Fouls segment. Obviously, one is fine; two is OK; three is pushing it. But once you get to, like, 80, haven't you just risen above any criticism and created art couture?)
We're baffled by Frankenjersey. On the one hand, it's a bastardization of everything pure and wonderful about the hockey sweater.
On the other, it's a fascinating mutt of a relic, like a burned out hair metal fan's denim jacket filled with whiskey stains and Dokken patches. With that, we ask:
Pass or Fail: The Los Angeles Kings Frankenjersey?
Trust us, you won't have this much trouble with the other ones shown here.
Here's where it gets rather awesome: This jersey is going for exactly $10.50 as of this morning on the auction. If you're willing to be a walking, talking Jersey Foul in your orange nightmare of a sweater, then it's actually quite a bargain. Also awesome: The seller's note that "this jersey could have slight damage or a misprint."
Ah, a classic Jersey Foul: The "spell it as you say it." This no doubt has affected many Tampa Bay Lightning Vincent Lecavalier jerseys, and we imagine Keith Tkachuk jerseys as well. It's also the primary reason no one actually owns a Guy Hebert sweater.
From Puck Daddy reader "ryfly10":
Went to the Hurricanes vs. Lightning game in Tampa on 1/3 (I'm actually a Flyers fan, went down to Florida to visit some relatives) and purchased some $15 tickets from a scalper, since the box office claimed the cheapest seats available were $50. So, since I was sitting towards the top of the half full arena, I caught this gem sitting in front of me: an incorrectly spelled Vinny Lecavalier jersey. Hopefully you can add that to your next Jersey Foul post. Hopefully Brodeur will come back and suck, so the fans ask for Clemmenson.
Yeah, hopefully the fans ... hey, wait a minute, that's not cool.
Finally, Puck Daddy reader Cory sends over this image that apparently originated over on our buddies The Pensblog. Apologies for the poor quality of the image. But it does give it sort of that "I just saw Sasquatch" vibe.
There's no way this is an isolated case, as we imagine there are Mrs. Parise or Mrs. Modano or Mr. Briere jerseys floating around out there. Unfortunately, the majority of the Sidney Crosby bashers here will no doubt find nothing inaccurate in the conception and construction of this sweater.